Lonely, Introverted College Nights

I’ll paint a picture of a Friday night for you:

I return to my room around 8 after having dinner with a friend. I feel beyond elated to see that my roommate isn’t home, and I finally can have some alone time. I get in my pajamas, climb into bed, grab some chocolate, and open up my laptop to watch The Bold Type (highly recommend this show). I know, what an introvert’s dream. I’ve only just started college, so after a long day of socializing with new people, I really do appreciate being alone. Social exhaustion is a real thing, and sometimes I go through my days waiting just for that moment for when I can finally be alone.

Usually, I’m pretty transfixed in my own world until after 10. At that time, I start to hear music playing and lots of laughter fill my dorm hallway. The noise doesn’t bother me because it’s loud, but rather it makes me feel alone. Sometimes, I feel like I’m right back in high school, left out of all the fun. As much as I tell myself I am confident in who I am, I think it’s only natural to wonder why people think I’m not fun and don’t invite me. After all, I think for mostly everyone, our deepest thoughts and feelings usually surface when we are alone at night. I go from feeling so socially exhausted to feeling socially deprived. Wanting that alone time and feeling alone can be two very different feelings, and those are usually my two most frequent feelings in college.

Not all weekend nights are like that. Often times, a friend from high school calls me or some friends come to my room to chat. When I talk to my friends, they mostly all tell me that they feel the same as I. In fact, I think some of my friendships have begun with my friends and I bonding over our own introversion. Lately, I’ve gotten in the habit of reminding myself that so many people spend weekend nights alone watching Netflix; there’s nothing wrong with that. Alone time is important, and most people don’t have the stamina to go out every night.

I’ll leave you with one last thought. Before I came to college, everyone warned me I was always going to be around people and never get time alone. This is beyond false. If anything, it’s easier to seclude yourself on a Friday night than it is to find people to hang out with, especially if you’re an introvert like me. Maybe a few months from now, I will feel differently; I’ll have lots of events to go to with a great group of friends and never get the alone time that I always want. After all, I did end high school with an amazing group of friends who I constantly love spending time with. Until then, I try to go to events to put myself out there more, and to all my other introverts, I suggest you do the same.

Just remember, if you’re sitting alone in your room on a Friday night, it really is okay. You’re not as alone as you think in doing so.

Rachel is currently trying to navigate her freshman year in New York City. Despite being an LA native, she is not a beach lover and would much rather have deep, intellectual conversations with people while staying true to an introverted lifestyle. She also loves Myers-Briggs personality types, fashion, and chocolate. 

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