Overheard @ Barnard, a growing Facebook group where Barnard students (and a smattering of other CU students) share the witticisms of their peers that they’ve casually overheard on campus. Though I’ve never made it onto the page, I do have to admit that I’ve both been eavesdropping more attentively and projecting all of the ridiculous things I say in hopes of some kind of debut. But in the meantime, I’ve been fully content to sit back and read all of the things being said and being deemed worthy of sharing. Because whether a post’s about the horrendous thing a boy in salmon shorts said or about our administration spending $100,000 to kill our favorite tree, Overheard condenses and consolidates all these mini-traumas that we Barnard students experience together into easy-to-consume newsfeed comedy. Enjoy the best of Overheard at Barnard compilation, because the best comedy is the sad, hilarious truth.
my dad, pointing at the Debora Spar email notification on my phone: “what does the tree-killer want”
“Apparently the birds that chirp at night are artificial sounds in the trees that Columbia put in to make campus seem more cheerful”
“I’m selling some clothes on Barnard buy sell trade. My first target audience will be for people who want to look sexy at Mel’s and my second audience will be for American apparel people who want to look hot at 1020 and MOMA PS1 Warmup.”
*after being called out for serving her own salad at Ferris* “I’M SORRY I’M FROM HEWITT I DON’T KNOW ANY BETTER WE SERVE OUR OWN SALADS”
“Who am I kidding, I’m majoring in afraid.”
Overheard on the steps from a girl taking a fire selfie: “TIME TO BLESS SOME TIMELINES!”
“Life begins after you take off your bra.”
“Should I stick a 20 in my exam booklet?”
Barnard now has “the Pit” from parks and rec so we need someone to fall in and then live in the pit I nominate myself