“Life is a constant inner battle between ego and self,” Professor Colbert from Harvard University explained to me as I sought for motivational advice from him– “and really, it is important to find a balance in between, a spot on the spectrum that leans toward self a bit more.”
Ego is the childish self. Ego manipulates our emotions and lets our irrational behavior takes over the true self– who you really are, your core values, and all your potential. Often times, we forget who we really are, and become really upset when the outcomes don’t turn out to be the way we wanted. We get mad at ourselves because we make irrational, emotional decisions because of impulses.
But remember, my sisters and brothers, we are human, and when we let ego controls ourselves, simply remind yourself to let your true self take back the control.
“For in him you will find yourself or lose yourself.”
“Forgiveness is the key to inner peace because it is the mental technique by which our thoughts are transformed from fear to love.” (A Return to Love) We all get hurt sometimes– when a friend betrays us, when your loved ones don’t love you back, or when things don’t work out the way you want– the pain could be so unbearable that we just want to hate and protect ourselves this way. My sisters and brothers, ask yourself: Do you really feel at peace when you do so? It is fear and our ego that makes us attack through malice.
“In reality, what we project onto others is what we really put on ourselves.”
In reality, what we project onto others is what we really put on ourselves. “In every relationship, in every moment, we teach either love or fear,” and since “to teach is to demonstrate,” as we demonstrate love towards others, we learn that we are lovable and we learn how to love more deeply. Every encounter is a holy reflection of yourself. You see yourself in the way you treat him, you feel who you are from the way you interact with him, and as you think of him, you will think of yourself.
Remember dearly–“For in him you will find yourself or lose yourself.”
We have all been hurt. I was hurt when I found out for over a year, I had only been living in a pink bubble built by my fantasy and my over-optimism. I always thought the guy whom I have had the biggest crush on also felt the same way for me. We have been talking, texting, and seeing on and off for a long while. Although the conversations always end with five brief sentences, we barely go on dates anymore, and although he barely checked up on me, I somehow convinced myself that things were going the way I wanted until one day my friend showed me several screenshots of their conversations. They weren’t anything extraordinary, let alone flirting. However, I noticed the way he texts were warmer and more open than in our conversations, I saw his effort of keeping the conversations moving, and more importantly, I realized how natural and personal he was when he talked to her– just like how a friendly normal being talks/texts another person.
“All I knew was that I was hurt.”
It felt as if reality harshly slapped on my face to wake me up. He never feels the same affections as I feel for him. He is not always a “shy” person who cannot hold conversations longer than five sentences; instead, he can text you for days if he wants to. The moment I realized the harsh reality; that despite my genuine affection for him, I cannot get him like me the way I do, tears just couldn’t stop but fall by my cheeks. I was speechless, I didn’t know what to believe in, and all I knew was that I was hurt.
“It is a choice to love and to forgive.”
I wanted to block him, I wanted to let him know my frustrations, and I wanted to let out my pain. I paused and asked myself if it would really put my heart at peace? The answer is no. It is really hard to face the fact that when you treat someone with kind and compassion, you don’t get the same back. My ego doesn’t allow me to forgive and move on: it wants revenge and a rebound; however, I try to remind myself that it is a choice to love and to forgive.
“Someone else’s closed heart has tempted me to close mine, and it is my own denial of love that hurts myself.”
My ego makes it seem as if the pain comes from the denial by others, but rather it derives from the love we deny them. It feels as though I was hurt by what someone else did, but what really happened is that “someone else’s closed heart has tempted me to close mine, and it is my own denial of love that hurts myself.”
“Everyone we meet will either be our crucifier or our savior, depending on what we choose to be to them.”(A Course in Miracles)
I choose to free my soul with love, for loving is the only way to heal and to be at peace.