Tinder is quite a handy tool. Instead of physically seeking out a partner, you can match with someone online and meet with them. Even if you haven’t reached that stage yet, it’s not too difficult to maintain a long-distance relationship on Tinder, especially if you’re five miles apart. There’s no better way to express your genuine, unconditional love to a complete stranger than super-liking their profile. In my humble opinion, we should throw away the old-fashioned ways of building an intimate relationship through compassion, empathy, and affection. Who needs those when you can easily match with some rando on Tinder?
However, I still hear tragic tales of unfortunate (and entitled) men who still can’t find a lover with the aid of Tinder. I understand that the app can be difficult to navigate and that it’s intimidating to approach women even though you never directly face them. With the right guidance, anyone can learn to be proficient in the art of Tinder. As someone who matched with boys and girls, I can say that I am well-versed in the two genders (but are there really just two?) and understand how to interact with them. I am here to lend my knowledge based on my own experiences in hopes that you boiz can better understand how to properly use Tinder to interact with girls.
1. Get your hopes up
Assume that every other girl on is seeking the same thing as you whether it’s a friendship, relationship or a hook-up. Setting outrageous standards that no one would fall into is a great way to help you select a mate and narrow down all those fishies in the Tinder sea (there really are a lot of fish out on Tinder but I’ll save that for another time). If there’s a misunderstanding and it turns out she doesn’t want the same thing as you, then you have every right to be mad at her. How dare she not want a hookup even though she clearly addressed to you and in her profile that she’s not into that! Who even cares about what she wants? This is about fulfilling your desires anyway. If you want a serious relationship, then, by all means, use a dating app to find (and even persuade) a girl you never met (or perhaps will never meet) to be your girlfriend. Of course, everyone uses Tinder that seriously. Who doesn’t? Probably more reasonable and rational people, but they probably don’t know what they’re doing anyway.
2. A Tinder match is a legitimate match
You both swiped right so obviously, it’s alright for you to assume that she loves you back. Duh, why else would she swipe right? How else are you supposed to determine if someone likes you? Definitely not through an honest, heartfelt conversation addressing your feelings after some time of establishing a relationship. Because it’s more simple to press the like button than taking the time to develop a sincere connection. If she turns you down, continue to be ignorant of her thoughts and reiterate that you guys matched so clearly you’re meant to be.
3. Coerce her to send you nudes
Congrats. You just matched with a decent-looking girl (by your standards of course). Nothing screams “respect” louder than demanding nudes and objectifying her body. Don’t even be polite about it. It’s important that you never take “no” for an answer; the point is to disempower her by dodging her rejections. Throw a temper tantrum if you must. After all, you are entitled to her body since you matched with her. Any girl is a nasty woman for not sufficing your needs. If she doesn’t want to send nudes, she shouldn’t be on Tinder in the first place. It’s totally not your fault for manipulating someone into doing something against their will.
4. Swipe right because of her looks
One of the features of having a Tinder profile is a bio that allows you to briefly tell others about yourself. That way, you give others a better sense of what your personality is like. Most girls use it to list their interests or studies and clearly addresses why they’re on Tinder. If I were you, I wouldn’t even bother reading 500 characters worth of someone’s true personality. Do be ignorant of her bio regardless of how much it reveals about herself. Besides, it’s not like a girl needs to serve more than just good looks. It’s easier to reduce a girl down to her appearance and objectify her. In fact, just ignore that these girls are human beings with valid emotions. What matters is how beautiful they are according to your standards. More importantly, all girls present themselves to please guys—especially you.
5. Be the best at engaging conversations
Communication is key to building any sort of relationship on Tinder.
For starters, if she doesn’t message you first, take the initiative. Don’t send just one message; double or triple text her. Drop hints that you demand her attention; make her feel obligated to talk to you. If she doesn’t respond, bombard her with messages until she does. The goal is to trap her in a conversation. Don’t give her a way out, even if she tries telling you goodbye. It’s not like girls have any other productive, meaningful things to do other than constantly spending their time interacting with men.
Be sure to ask for her number, Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, email, home address, AOL Instant Messenger, and pigeon mail pigeon. This way, you can stay connected with her in more ways than one so now you have more means to spam her with messages. Don’t take no for an answer, or at least don’t end the conversation without getting one of those. Girls love it when guys don’t respect their rejection and pressure them into giving them their numbers even if they don’t want to.
Most importantly, make her feel uncomfortable. Throw in some unsolicited sexual comments and pass it off as flirting or giving a compliment. Honestly, girls get very flattered when guys make unwanted approaches like that. Even I get hot and bothered fantasizing about boys sexually harassing me and telling them to stop.
With enough effort and practice, you can make some gains on Tinder. It’s always exciting to match with someone new and now that you have all this new advice, you can take it to the next step. It’s especially easy if you’re a misogynistic, narcissist guy looking for more ways to boost your outrageous ego.