They say you can tell a lot about a woman by what’s in her purse, but I’m here to offer that you can tell even MORE about a woman by what she orders to drink. What are you telling the world by what you’re sipping on ladies? Probably more than you think.
Dirty Shirley
You’re cute, you’re fun, and you can probably tie the garnish cherry stem with your tongue (you flirty thing you). Dark liquor makes you wrinkle your nose in disgust, and if your guy wants “simple” you are not the gal for him.Who cares if you’d prefer to sip on something sweet instead of holding a stale beer in your hand so you can pretend you’re “one of the guys”? You need a drink as flirtatious as you are. Plus, with Shirley your drink will always match your lipstick.
Vodka Sprite
No offense to you vodka Sprite ladies, but you could not pick a more bland drink order. What can we say about you? You like Uggs and that’s not your real shade of blonde, but you’re beautiful nonetheless. A boy ordered you this drink your freshman year, and you haven’t explored your options since, but it’s time. Pick a drink with some character, we know you have more personality than this.
Whiskey Coke
Classic. Men like a girl that can hold her whiskey and so do I. You don’t play games, unless it’s a drinking game, and you’re all blunt opinions with a pinch of mischief. She swears she can drink with the boys and she’ll sure as hell try. The whiskey Coke woman is always looking to get a little wild and approaches that goal straightforward with a drink that will get the job done.
Gin Sour
Do not, I repeat, do not try to argue with the girl drinking gin. She’s got the sharpest tongue at the bar and sass to spare, but she makes up for it in individuality. She’ll ask to buy you a drink and then scribble her number on the bartender’s tip. Don’t bother trying to put reason behind this wild card, she doesn’t even know what she’s doing. A sour drink for a sour disposition.
Beer
Broke or one of the boys. This girl is the epitome of chill. She’s here to let her hair down and have a few laughs while calmly asserting herself as the voice of reason in the group. She’s sitting cross legged at a table, bottle dangling from three fingers as she watches her friends grind wildly on the dance floor. You’ll never see her disappear in the bathroom and emerge with puke in her bangs. She smiles with girl-next-door charm and when asked what she wants to drink she says, “I’ll have what you’re having.”
Tequila Shots
I haven’t decided if all tequila drinkers are great dancers or if tequila makes us all great dancers, but if she’s tossing snakebites, she dances like a gypsy. She’s got sass in her hips and lips, eyes that burn like the fire in her belly, and her kisses taste faintly of limes and exotic beaches. Shot girl is intoxicating in her total abandon to a good time. However, if she’s out past 2 a.m., chances are she’s going to start tasting not like limes but dinner’s second coming. Still, tequila shot girl is like some wasted fairytale of Cinderella, she’ll let you buy her a shot if you return the stiletto she lost on her way to the bathroom.
Blue Motherf*%kers
One word: Bold. Boldness in the way she flips her hair over one shoulder, boldness in the ever changing bright hues of lipstick, boldness in how she saunters up to bar and confidently orders her drink in a way that almost sounds like she’s insulting the bartender. Watch out for this girl, she’ll steal the boy who just bought you a drink in the 12 seconds you turned around to talk to a friend. She’s a little too confident, a little to handsy, but it’s not my place to judge when she’s out for a no-holds-barred good time, and I respect her determination.
Jack & Ginger
If she’s a Jack girl, she’s a keeper. Not to be misconstrued with whiskey Coke girls, Jack & Ginger ladies have a little more bite with a lot less bark. Ginger entails spicy and sweet, a sharp aftertaste that hijacks the senses. She may seem sweet, sipping demurely out of a tiny black straw, but she’s all spice, teasing boys till they blush and smoothing the wound with a wink. If you find yourself in conversation with this walking contradiction, you’re not likely to stray for the rest of the night.
Rum and Coke
Not too complicated, but more than a little wicked. She throws back her drink with a pirate smile. She either grew up on the water or spent one or two very extensive vacations in the Caribbean. Chances are she spilled her drink on her shoes dancing and now smells of coconuts and sugarcane. There’s a wildness to this girl that cannot be explained, a mischievous glint in the eye that’s looking for trouble. She’s three sails to wind and if you take her home remember, X marks the spot.