Ahhh the good ol’ pseudo relationship. What a blessing and a curse. You get the perks of dating someone without any of the commitment, which can be the perfect combination for some people. But, what are the expectations of this sort of relationship when it comes to holidays and special occasions – especially Valentine’s Day? Clearly you can’t follow the normal boyfriend-girlfriend policies of expensive gifts and over-the-top romantic dates when you can’t even really call the other person your significant other. Yet doing nothing at all to acknowledge the person you’ve been relatively consistently hooking up with after dark seems too cold and distant for even the most pseudo of pseudo relationships. Well, here is a brief guide on how to handle your almost-dating situation this Valentine’s Day:
Get Rid of Your Expectations: As the always perceptive William Shakespeare said, “Expectation is the root of all heartache,” and he was right. Obviously, hold standards for how you want and need to be treated by others, especially the person you’re seeing, but know that you gave up the right to have any grand expectations as soon as you entered this pseudo relationship. Don’t start day dreaming about roses and candlelight and romantic eye-contact because it’s not going to happen. Start off this holiday with a blank slate and there’s no way to end up disappointed!
Keep Acknowledgements Chill: Don’t you dare text a single heart emoji all day. Don’t do it. Just don’t! If you want to send him or her an affectionate text, that’s fine, just keep it true to form of how you would normally text each other. Even a simple “Hey, happy Valentine’s Day!” is a good way to go, because, hey, look at how much emotion you’re already conveying with that exclamation point. Giving a card would also be acceptable, particularly if your pseudo relationship isn’t completely emotionless like some are. Again, just be sure it’s not too mushy-gushy, covered in hearts and glitter. Keep it short, sweet, and even a little funny.
Be Wary of Gifts: Giving someone a gift, especially on Valentine’s Day, instantly signals that you are invested and committed to the person you’re giving it to. You’ve spent your time and money on this gift, and that could potentially freak your other pseudo relationship other half out. There’s also a huge range of mistakes that could be made when exchanging gifts with someone you aren’t officially dating, mainly an unequal size in the value and meaning of the gifts, which will immediately make the situation awkward. Just keep it simple and not messy. Guys, go ahead and buy her flowers. Get her a half-dozen roses or daisies, or whatever you feel best, at Publix and that’s all you need to do. It’s inexpensive and non-permanent and she’ll appreciate the thought. But, please God, don’t get her carnations because this is college, not 6th grade. Girls, bake him something. Cookies, cupcakes, a lasagna, who cares as long as it’s tasty? He’ll enjoy the gift, but again there’s nothing permanent or committed about this gesture. Just try to refrain from spelling out any cries of devotion in icing or mozzarella.
Go On A Non-Date Date: If you and your pseudo relationship partner in crime have never actually been on a real date, then Valentine’s Day is not the day to start unless you’re trying to turn things more serious. Going to any sort of nice restaurant or a movie theatre will guarantee you’ll be surrounded by lovey-dovey couples fawning all over each other, which could potentially make your lack of lovey-doviness the elephant in the room. Instead, keep with the mantra of pseudo relationships and stay casual. If you feel the need to spend time together on Valentine’s Day, feel free to do so by sticking to your normal routine, or go ahead and make a little extra effort with a chill outing. Go hiking or biking together, or grab lunch somewhere relatively non-romantic, like Mellow-Mushroom, or rent a movie and pop some pop-corn. You’ll have fun and be together on Valentine’s Day, just without all the pomp and circumstance of a typical romantic date often expected in official relationships.