It was more than seven years ago that our favorite undercover pop star took the big screen in the Hannah Montana Movie. (Feel old? Same.) Can we just take a second to remember how big of a deal this was? I remember getting dropped off at the movie theater and buying a large coke Icee for the occasion. Thankfully, Netflix recently added The Hannah Montanna Movie for us now young adults to appreciate and force the kids we babysit to watch. I watched it the other day and still loved the movie. I even had to rewind to rewatch Travis and Miley kiss a couple times (so steamy). However, fair warning, the same things that bothered you when you were a Jonas Brothers-obsessed middle schooler will still get to you.
Here are 10 things that will still bother you years later.
1. The Lyrics to “The Best of Both Worlds”.
The Hannah Montanna Movie starts with Hannah performing her hit song which is also the intro to the show when it’s on television. Okay, so do you want to keep the whole Hannah thing a secret or no? Because might as well write a song called “It’s actually me, Miley Stewart”.
2. Miley showing up to Lily’s Sweet 16 as Hannah.
Poor Lily just wanted one normal night for herself. You know, just Venice Beach Boardwalk rented out for her and a couple hundred of her closest friends. Very low key, Miley. You ruined everything.
3. Her outfits you were obsessed with are all from Justice and so ugly. You know you had that polka dot shirt and layered it with a coordinated cami.
4. Tyra Banks would kick some Miley Cyrus twerking booty in this fight, why are we pretending like this is a thing? Tyra Banks is 6-feet and not about to let a teen throw a shoe at her. Have you never seen her go off on the model in ANTM? Her smize is enough to make me run away.
5. No one can tell that Miley is Hannah.
Does dying your hair completely change your face and voice? Travis even walks in on Miley singing and is clueless. This is almost as bad as Austin Ames not being able to tell that it’s the adorable Hilary Duff under her tiny mask. And you people claim you’re from her hometown?
6. Is Rascal Flats somehow related to Miley Stewart or just hanging out, I don’t know. Who are here with, Rascal? Your real talent is making everyone look bad.
7. Taylor Swift, you are better than Crowley Corners. And, wait, isn’t Miley’s love interest, Travis, Taylor’s stalkerish neighbor hottie from the “You Belong With Me” music video? Was there seriously no other adorably terrible actors available?
8. The entire crowd jumps in and knows how to do the Hoedown Throwdown.
It took me three hours of step-by-step Youtube tutorials to master this, we all know you’ve been practicing popping it, locking it and polka dotting it for weeks in rehearsals.
9. Disney pretends like Miley and Travis’ relationship never happened. The show continues its season and everything that goes down in the movie is never mentioned again. I guess if Miley doesn’t end up with her hometown cowboy, at least Jake Ryan buys her a star.
10. Hannah, we will keep your secret! Absolutely not. There are hundreds of fans in this audience and you are trying to tell me that not one sells her secret for some cash? Disney, come on, that is even more unrealistic than Troy Bolton being in the school musical. I would do it, and you know you would too.