Diary of an almost 21 year old

 

Indecision and entrapment were the key highlights of my 2016. I felt like I was stuck in the middle; acting all grown up as the 19 going on 20 years old but at the same time feeling like a part of me was still young inside. That part of me still longed for the “good ol moments” and believed that life was a fairytale in action. Dreams came true and happily ever afters were the basis of everything in life. This made it extremely easy for me to feel like I didn’t know exactly where I stood and what I was. I told myself that I wasn’t a girl but I also wasn’t a woman- I was somewhere in between. And it worked so well.

                                            The Hills 1x01 sign sigh content

A couple of months down the line and ten months away from being 21, I already feel different. I have a strong feeling that this year has been my very own transformation period. Subtle yet significant changes have already occurred. For this reason,  I know that when November comes, being 21 won't just be a matter of removing the zero on 20 and replacing it with a 1, instead, I would have earned it.

 

With tonnes of responsibilities: school, social relationships and an internship that all demand hours of my time, I’m even surprised I found the golden mean. My decision-making skills have never been so good.The first wrong assumption that people almost always have is the thought that my turning point came because I learnt to manage my time well but grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr no, that’s far from it.

 

My defining moment only came in recently. That is when I realized that the pinnacle of being 21 isn’t about getting your life together and being the best decision maker in the world. Being 21 is about letting go; letting go of everything that holds you back in any way and keeps you from moving forward in any aspect of your life. It’s about letting go of certain ways of thinking or even certain people. I gotta admit that “the letting go” part is not always easy.  However, that is what separates a normal 21-year-old from a real 21-year-old. It is the litmus test in checking to see if you have really transitioned into adulthood.

                                                                             Turnover balloon humming letting go turnover band Coming from an almost 21-year-old who thinks she has passed the test, I gotta say that this is one of the critical yet inevitable stages of life.  I personally had to go through some rough patches but I knew and still know that it is all worth it at the end. I still care about the “good ol moments” but I have come to accept that they are a closed chapter in my book of life and there is need to open room for new memories. Fairytales and happy endings- oh well, it’s all subjective, but what I have learnt is that life is not all rosy and pink, there are some grey and dark areas. However, real maturity lies in knowing how to deal with it all- the good and the bad.

About The Author

Passionate, curious and assertive human being, who is driven by the zeal to instigate social change.