When I first asked to interview my friends Emma and Christian for my Her Campus article, I thought it would be a fun piece for Valentine’s Day. Whenever I meet or talk to a couple, I always love getting to hear the stories that have shaped their relationship because they each have a different perspective. I figured what better way to celebrate Valentine’s Day then to do exactly that for the site. I went over to Christian’s dorm this past Tuesday night expecting to ask my questions, have a good laugh with them, write my article, and move on. And all of these things did happen, but something else happened as well that I was not expecting. I’ll let you read my hilarious, heartwarming interview with two awesome people and let you know what I learned at the end. Enjoy!
Names: Emma Bowker and Christian Noli
Age: Both 19
Hometown: Orange County, California
Together for: 1 year and 8 months
Couple Questions:
1. When and where did you meet?
Emma: We met Freshman year in our Biology class, but we didn’t really rekindle our love until Junior Year in our Spanish 4 class.
Christian: We became friends Junior Year Spanish class.
Tori: So you knew each other freshman year and then became friends later?
Emma: Yeah, he didn’t talk to me Freshman Year.
Christian: Oh my gosh. Always with this damn story. We became friends our Junior Year. She thought she was cool enough to sit next to me.
Emma: I had to wiggle my way in there because he didn’t really want to talk to me.
Christian: I was a cool kid.
Tori: That’s pretty impressive, I wouldn’t have expected that.
Emma: Me either.
2. What are your top three favorite qualities of the other person?
Emma: My top three favorite things about Christian are, number one he gives the best hugs ever. Number two, he always knows how to talk to me when I’m upset. He always knows what to say and the right things to do. And then number 3, he’s literally my best friend. He makes me laugh all the time and he’s one of the funniest people I know. And he laughs at my stupid jokes.
Christian: I like about Emma..
Tori: You like about Emma?
Christian: I’m thinking.
Tori: No that’s not an actual statement, “you like about Emma”.
Christian: Okay three things I like about Emma. This is tough to put into three. I like how she’s not a girly girl but not a guy. She is very relatable for the opposite sex. She is a very easy going girl. I love her hugs.
Emma: Don’t take my answer.
Christian: You give good hugs! You go “huggies, huggies!” She’s very comforting when I’m upset or not even upset. I could be happy and she makes me happier. And she’s hilarious! She’s Emma Bowker, she’s very funny.
3. Describe your first kiss.
Christian: I kissed her at our friend’s party. Now prior to that I did not have the balls to do it, I was too scared. So we hung out the whole night and you could see the anticipation from both of us. You could just tell we both wanted it to happen and it was going to, I just had to do it. But she had to leave because it was her curfew, so I walked her out and I would not let her leave because I was scared to kiss her.
Emma: I was in the car and I said I really had to go. And I was so over it because I wanted to kiss him, but my friends told me not to because they said it’s literally taking away his masculinity and his man card.
Christian: Yeah that’s my card.
Emma: They just said that I needed to let him have his first kiss when he wanted to kiss me. So I said fine and I wasn’t going to kiss him. And we had been through this a couple times. This was the second or third time in a row that we had hung out and I was so over that he hadn’t kissed me by the end of the night. Anyways he kept going, “don’t go, don’t go” and I said “I have to go.” And his hands were on the hood of the car and he said, “Whatever I’m just gonna kiss you”
Christian: No I said, “I don’t even care.”
Emma: Oh that’s what it was, he said “I don’t even care I’m just gonna kiss you.” And then he kissed me. And then he went inside the house.
Christian: And then my best friend was like, “Did you do it?” And I was like, “Yeah,” and he has like “Heck yeah!” And we high fived.
Emma: And then I called Bridget (best friend) and I was like, “He finally did it!” and she was like “No way!” And he was my first kiss and I was very excited.
4. What is your favorite memory that you have with each other?
Christian: The beach.
Emma: Aw you suck I wanted that one.
Christian: For me it’s being at Crescent Beach in Laguna. Being in the water and just floating around and just talking. I would always take waves because she was scared of them or wouldn’t take ’em, but then I would come back out to where she was.
Emma: One of my favorite memories with Christian was when my family went to Mammoth and he hadn’t really been to a place like that, with hiking and mountains and stuff. And literally just watching him run around on the trails like a little child. He was just like, “look it’s so pretty!”
Christian: I teared up, I’m not even kidding. I had never seen something so beautiful.
Emma: We were just exploring together and would jump in the lake or whatever. It was a lot of fun. But yeah. I feel like I could think of something better, but that’s it.
Christian: For me, when I think of my most favorite memory of you, it’s more of a huge composite of millions of times I’ve seen you smile in one.
5. What would you say is the key to having a successful relationship?
Emma: I would honestly say we just understand each other. I don’t know how we don’t annoy each other. I mean we do annoy each other, but I seriously say I don’t think we would be together if it wasn’t for his persistence and the fact that he always resolves problems. But, advice that I would say is that jealousy can literally destroy a relationship, trust is a big factor and just honestly being there for each other through the highs and the lows. Being there when someone is going through a high is almost even bigger than being there when someone’s going through a low. But when they are going through a low, obviously it’s not as fun. You invest your time, and energy, and love in them. Also, make sure your family likes them because if your family doesn’t like them there is probably a problem.
Tori: Christian, do you have anything you would like to add to that?
Christian: The biggest thing or the main reason I think we got this far is communication. I know that I’m someone who likes talking and working things out on the spot, even though sometimes people should have their breathing room and their thinking time. I don’t want to sound all me, but I’m glad I’m persistent enough to want to talk things out.
Emma: Me too.
Christian: Because I know she’s stubborn enough not to talk about it. I think talking is the only way.
Tori: So you think communication is really important?
Christian: Yeah, because if you are two people who don’t like talking about things and just leave it under the table, it’ll never work.
Emma: I also think that sharing the same faith is a really important thing. Being able to go to church together and pray with each other when necessary.
Questions for Christian:
1. What color do you think she looks best in?
Christian: Black.
Tori: Black..?
Chrisitan: Yes, why?
Tori: Thank you for that great answer.
*Emma and I laugh*
Tori: I get it blacks a great color!
Emma: I don’t even wear a lot of black.
Christian: Kay fine than.
Tori: No black is fine!
Emma: Yeah, if black’s your choice that’s fine I’m just saying it’s kinda surprising.
Christian: Okay well I can’t really think of one color, but I can think of a color for the shirt, the pants, the shoes.
Tori: Okay, fine.
Christian: I love when she wears sandals. I don’t like when she wears shoes. She has cute feet and she wears nice sandals.
Emma: I feel like you would like when I wear blue since I have blue eyes.
Christian: I’m not the type of guy that’s like, “oh blue eyes, blue shirt that matches well!” Shirts, I like when you wear white shirts and pants, I like your red pants.
Tori: So your dream outfit is a white shirt, red pants and sandals?
Emma: I don’t have red pants?
Christian: Yeah you do, the maroon ones.
Emma: Okay they’re like purple.
Christian: Yeah but they’re so cool!
Tori: Oh my gosh okay.
Christian: Okay, white. If I had to pick a single color it would be white.
2. What is your favorite personality trait of Emma’s?
Christian: Her humor because I would get bored if she wasn’t funny.
3. If you could take Emma on any date, where would you go and what would you do?
Christian: Peru.
Emma: That’s where you want to go.
Christian: I don’t care.
Emma: What about where I want to go?
Christian: I would take her to my grandparents’ beach house in Peru immediately.
Tori: And what would you do there?
Christian: Eat the best food in the world and I would take her to Machu Picchu because it’s one of the Seven Wonders of the World that I haven’t seen yet, so I would want to see it with her. I’d take her to Peru so I could introduce her to all my family she hasn’t met yet.
4. What do you think every time Emma walks into a room?
Christian: People have told me that when Emma walks in I immediately smile. I get warm, I don’t know happy.
5. Why do you love Emma?
Christian: These are such on the spot questions.
Tori: Would you prefer she leave the room?
Christian: Before I knew what love was, anything that was related to the female body I thought was disgusting. Like periods, and girls pooping, and girls farting, and girls burping. But the second I heard her burp, or fart, or knew she was on her period, it didn’t bother me. That’s when I knew I was in love because the things that restricted me from other girls weren’t there with her. And every single time I would say goodbye to her it would almost slip, me saying it.
Tori: You saying you loved her?
Christian: Yeah, that’s how I knew because it would almost come out naturally without me even thinking. I would be like bye, I lov… and I would have to catch myself.
Tori: So you are in love with her because it’s natural for you?
Christian: Mhmm. Because I never had to tell myself how to love, she showed me.
6. How has being in a relationship changed you?
Christian: I’m more a man of faith because she’s opened me up to attending church more often and that lead to a bigger thing. Once you become one with God it’s bigger than just the relationship. Besides the love that God showed me, I don’t feel alone anymore and therefore I feel happier. I am more patient and I feel like I don’t have to tackle things alone anymore. I know I always have someone on my side and that makes everything a lot easier.
Questions for Emma:
1. What is something that Christian does that you wish he wouldn’t do?
*Christian laughs*
Tori: Just one, just one.
Christian: Bring out the notepad!
Emma: That’s not true! I don’t know why you always say that.
Christian: Because it is true!
Emma: One thing that we actually talked about today is he says he’ll do stuff just to get me off his back. I’ll say “you should get a hair cut” and he’ll say “okay I’ll get one tomorrow.” And he doesn’t do it. Today, I told him to stop getting so angry if I put Snapchat on because he flips out every time. He’ll say, “okay I won’t do that ever again.” but in your mind you know you are going to do it again.
Tori: So him making empty promises?
Emma: *laughs* That sounds so harsh! It’s more him saying he’ll do little tasks and then he doesn’t.
2. Tell me about the best date Christian has ever taken you on.
Emma: I think the best date we’ve ever gone on was for our anniversary. We went down to Huntington Beach and we rode bikes.
Tori: On your first year anniversary?
Emma: Yeah. We rode bikes and then we went to BJ’s in Laguna Beach for dinner. Then after that we took pizookies to go to Salt Creek and watched the sunset.
Christian: The pasta at BJ’s was so bad.
3. If you had to describe Christian to someone who has never met him, what would you say?
Emma: He’s literally the goofiest guy you’ll ever meet. He’s one of the nicest and most respectful guys you’ll ever meet. I always say his spirit animal is a grizzly bear because metaphorically I’m his baby, and when people come near me he gets very angry.
Tori: Wow, that’s intense.
Emma: But when he’s not threatened he’s all sweet and like, “I love you.”
4. What is the best thing about being in a relationship?
Emma: I think the best thing about being in a relationship is just having someone be there for you at the end of the day. Obviously you always have your friends and stuff, but it’s a connection on a different level. It’s someone that cares about you in a different way than really anyone else in your life does and wants to hear about how your day was. I mean you have friends like that and friends that aren’t like that, but I feel like that’s something that’s just really nice. I know I can always share anything with him no matter what it is. I feel like I need to tell him otherwise it didn’t happen.
5. Why do you love Christian?
Emma: I love Christian because he’s just like the same person I am. He meshes super well into my family and I mesh super well into his family, we get along so great. Our friends like each other and we like to do the same things, but we’re also passionate about different things so we never really lose stuff to talk about. And he’s just such a great guy. He cares about me so much and I care about him so much.
6. How has being in a relationship changed you?
Emma: I feel a lot more confidant in my self than I used to because every other guy I used to talk to wasn’t there for me and they weren’t good guys at all. Even though my parents always taught me different, I always thought that was my worth and those were the only guys I could get and I didn’t really deserve any better. My Dad was the greatest Dad I could ever ask for and I don’t know. I never got a guy that was good enough or ever really stuck around, so when that happened a couple times I always thought there was something wrong with me and I obviously needed to settle for less than I was expecting. So it has definitely changed me because if something ever happens and Christian and I don’t work out, he has changed my standards for life and I am a much happier person. I mean I get frustrated easily still, but my patience has definitely increased, which says a lot because it’s still pretty low. I have a way better relationship with my Dad because I’m not as insecure that the only male love I can get is from him. It always kinda got bothered because my Dad was so loving and affectionate towards me and always told me I was pretty and stuff. But I would always get frustrated because I thought, “yeah you have to say that,” type thing. Now that I have someone else telling me that, that’s a man that loves me, it’s a different point of view. I feel more secure in myself. I’m not as mean to my Dad as I used to be. I used to be so sarcastic to him and get bothered so easily by him, but we have a much better relationship now.
Well you made it to the end and I promised I would tell you what happened, so here we go! During my conversation I learned two things.
The first thing is that being in a relationship is a lot of work. My parents have been married for 20 years and have one of the strongest relationships I have ever seen. The kind of relationship where you can just tell that they love each other more and more everyday. They tell me all the time that being married is hard work, even after 20 years, but I never really believed them. However, after becoming really close friends with Emma and Christian, I realized how true it really is. When you commit to someone, you have to sacrifice. You have to compromise. You have to learn to listen more than you talk. You have to forgive. You have to accept someone, flaws and all. You have to do a lot of things and put in a lot of work. I don’t know why it took me so long to realize this, but I am grateful I have and I honestly believe that couples are the hardest working, most dedicated, most selfless people in the world.
The second thing I learned is that love is powerful. In almost all of the questions I asked, both Emma and Christian told me that the love they have for each other has made them better people. For Christian, Emma taught him how to love, how to be more patient, has assured him that he is not alone, and has brought him closer to God. For Emma, Christian has taught her how to work through problems, that she deserves a man who loves her fully, that she is beautiful inside and out, and has helped improve her relationship with her Dad. All of these things happened because of love. That is so crazy to think about! Love is the most powerful thing we have because it changes our hearts and our souls.
I was really not expecting to learn all of these things during this interview especially with such a young couple. People always say that teenage love Is passionate but fleeting, and to be honest I used to be one of them. But my perspective has changed because I realized that love knows no age. It connects all of us, young and old, and touches all of our lives in powerful ways.
So here’s to Emma and Christian. Thank you guys for touching my life with your love story and for teaching me that being in love is full of sacrifice and hard work, but it is also the most joyful and beautiful part of life. I wish you both every happiness and success in the world and I hope that I am able to one-day love someone as fully and deeply as you love each other.