651 miles separate Boone, North Carolina from where my boyfriend lives in New York, but who’s counting, that would be weird. When it comes to long distance relationships, it could be worse; in fact, I’m pretty fortunate. For starters, at least we’re on the same coast and in the same time zone. Also, I’m not one of the brave ladies who have a significant other in the military; I can’t even begin to imagine what it would be like to be in that situation.
Sometimes people, even some of my closest friends, don’t quite understand why I would want to stay in a relationship separated by so many miles. How many times a year do my boyfriend and I get to see each other? Just every few months if we’re lucky. There are about 18,000 students at Appalachian State; surely I could get one, maybe even two guys that go here to like me. So why stay with someone who lives so far away during the “best” years of my life? What’s the point of gambling on something that could potentially not work out in the end?
I’d be lying if I said I never had any doubts. No relationship is perfect. Sometimes I wonder if the guy sitting two rows behind me in lecture could be a potential husband prospect. While I do have silly thoughts like that and I do have my moments, I never think that what I’m doing isn’t worth it. I never think that I would be better off not being in my relationship. Sure, it’s really hard sometimes and it becomes difficult not to envy other couples that get to be together every day. I see my roommates and their boyfriends, I see my friends and their boyfriends, I see that disgustingly cute couple sharing a double Eno on Sanford Mall and I admittedly die a little inside. But how lucky am I to have something so wonderful, something that never lets me take for granted how fortunate I am?
I guess the comparable question I would ask someone that doesn’t understand why this is worth it to me is if they would stop being friends with their best friend if they moved away? Your best friend, someone who can make you laugh at the drop of a hat, someone who understands and accepts why you are the way you are and someone you could talk to every second of every day. If they moved away, would you just let go of the friendship that you enjoyed so much? Finding a best friend isn’t easy, you have to interact with a ton of people to find that one person that you really click with, that one person that makes it feel effortless.
I’ve learned to look forward to our phone calls as opposed to date night. I value the time we do get to spend together. I get to always anticipate the next time we’ll see each other, I get to count down the days in excitement. We don’t get to grab a quick lunch on a random Tuesday and we don’t get to spend Friday night together watching movies, but that’s ok. It’s ok that I have gotten to learn to be independent and it’s ok that I get a lot of personal time for myself. It’s ok to have my own friends and my own social circles and my own life, apart from my relationship. If anything, I’ve learned more about myself while being in my relationship than I have in the many years before it.