In just two short weeks, we’re walking across a stage. We’re walking across the street to our favorite bars for the last time as undergraduates. We’re walking across town with our people, some of them for the last time.
We’ll celebrate the end of all-nighters, being able to enjoy coffee instead of chugging it, finally reading for ourselves rather than for a class that probably won’t matter in seven years. The days after our celebrations will come slow and we won’t realize that we won’t be returning to the drinking town with a football problem until August rolls around and we aren’t scrambling to get our lives together for the new semester, or figuring out when we can all get together for drinks to celebrate the first night back in our home.
We’ll celebrate, and then we’ll begin to mourn.
We’ll mourn our favorite bar that’s closing down, realizing when we come back for a football game that we won’t be greeted by the eccentric man in pajamas that runs the place. We’ll mourn those football days, where we willingly wake up at 7:30 a.m. to start drinking by 9 a.m., and still try our damndest to last the whole night too, because win or lose we love our team.
We’ll mourn those favorite professors, and traditions each of our majors have to go through. We’ll actually begin to miss the simple tradition of going to class, seeing the seasons change campus in the blink of an eye, the little events the university puts on, and the locals that come around and stir up our days. We’ll feel nostalgic for the ever changing weather here, for the kind man across from the library who sells the best produce, for the simple act of walking across campus as the sun sets.
We’ll especially mourn the friends that we realize we won’t see on our wedding day or at our kid’s first birthday party. We’ll try to resist the slow fading of other friendships, because over time they’ll drift away for no reason other than life happening. We aren’t ready to accept that when life fades some things, it strengthens others.
So say goodbye, and accept that sometimes goodbye isn’t forgetting, it’s just making a little box to keep the memories you have with people, the people who at one point, were your soulmates.
Say goodbye to it being acceptable to keep empty bottles of cheap wine and vodka stacked up along your kitchen counters, and say hello to better alcohol choices (but probably worse hangovers). Remember those cheap bottles of alcohol and the nights they led you and your friends to. Reminisce and laugh, because where would you be without those nights and those people?
Say goodbye to getting the college kid discount, and say hello to thinking about where your money is going and how to spend it wisely. Say goodbye to not remembering why, how, or when you did something, and say hello to seeking out new experiences that will fulfill your life, fulfill your soul, and maybe fill the void you have from saying so many goodbyes.
Remember things that made you feel alive while you were here. Remember how you found yourself, lost yourself, and found yourself – over and over again. Remember the people who knocked you down and the ones who helped you up, because each of them taught you something in some way and are part of the reason you are who you are today, even if they aren’t part of your tomorrow.
Remember the things that made you feel infinite, that made you feel alive and free, that gave you a rush. Remember the things you loved to do here, save them for when you return and try to re-create your glory days. But never forget, every day can be your glory day, you just have to set out to make it so.
This is how you say goodbye, and not let it destroy you. It’ll hurt here and there, but letting go doesn’t always have to mean leaving behind or forgetting… So mourn, celebrate, say goodbye and say hello. Accept every feeling coming at you, embrace it and let is pass. Reflect and reminisce. Set out to do what you’ve always imagined, the rest will fall in place, and the people standing next to you may not be who you thought would be there – but they’re there for a reason.
Walk across town one more time, with purpose, hope and imagination. Express kindness, love, and gratitude –for everyone who put you where you are and who made you who you are today, but mostly feel it for yourself. Say goodbye to the person you were four years…three years…two years…one year ago, and say hello to the person you are today.
Because sometimes moving on with the rest of your life starts with goodbye, but that doesn’t mean it has to hurt.
Images:
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