I read somewhere once that to make something a habit, you should do it every day for a set number of days. They also added that every time you complete that task you should make a tally mark to record it on a calendar, then like magic it becomes a habit!
I’m here to call bullsh*t on that being the way we make habits. Habit is defined as a settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up.
I believe that if something is hard to give up, then it is usually something you are really invested in or feel a compulsion to do because it makes you feel good. We find comfort, usually unconsciously, in a bad habit and next thing we know we have to consciously stop ourselves from doing it.
We all have our bad habits. For instance, I pick at my cuticles when I’m stressed or uncomfortable and I don’t stop until I’ve felt the anxiety pass. That’s a bad habit. I also like to lie on the couch and binge watch five or eight episodes to put off work or to “clear my head”. Another one I have is not being able to say no to the people I care about. I say yes, spread myself too thin and don’t get the time I need to take care of myself physically and mentally.
With the realization that I spread myself too thin for those I care about, I consciously made the decision to form a new habit. It’s hard. It’s making me set aside time for myself and stop thinking about all of the work I have to do or the problems I’m facing.
I am meditating. The beautiful thing is that it doesn’t just make me feel good temporarily, but the feeling actually lasts for a while. I’m just starting out, but I know enough from my research that it is going to be a lasting, positive habit for me. It’s a hard habit to form because clashes with the habits that I’m finding hard to give up. Picking my nails. Saying yes to everyone. Laying on the couch for hours aimlessly (Scandal is really good, can you blame me?).
We should all take the time to find a practice that makes us feel good and is beneficial to us. I teach Pilates and it has become a habit of mine to include just a few minutes of meditation at the end of each class.
I really do believe that anyone can find things that can become good habits by doing a little thinking about what you need in your life at this moment and what you want out of life in the long run.
To get you started, here is a list of things I am actively taking the time to do for myself:
1. I make my bed nearly every morning now because I don’t want to come home and worry about having to tidy up. I have a bad habit of dropping my clothes on the floor and leaving them for a few days, so by making my bed every day I’ll be able to keep the rest of my room cleaner (and hopefully by extension my head too).
2. Instead of picking at my cuticles when I feel anxious, I’ve started playing solitaire on my phone. I’m hoping that by giving my hands something else to do besides pick and make my nails bleed, I’ll be able to stop giving a shy, apologetic smile to the nice ladies who do my nails.
3. I’ve kept a journal since high school but often I find that I’m not taking time to utilize it and I’ve let things bottle up in my mind. Writing is another form of meditation I love. I can physically see the things that I am worried about and try to sort through my thoughts. I’m also working on using my journal for the good times, not just the times I can’t get my head clear. I’m hoping I’ll be able to combine the habit of writing and the forming habit of meditation together to be a happier and healthier person.
Habits can be anything you want. If you have a bad habit or habit you want to stop, identify what it is that makes you want to do that thing. Try to find an alternative that doesn’t make you feel guilty or think “sh*t I need to stop”. Tackle each thing one at a time and eventually the bad habits won’t be as bad, and you’ll feel healthier and happier.
Image Sources:
http://aboutmeditation.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/Meditation-quote-David-Lynch.png
http://gethealthyu.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/GoodHabits.jpg
http://www.urgentcareglendaleca.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/bad_habits_work.jpg