As much as you try to deny it and say, “No! It’s not like that. We’re just really good friends!”, we all know you’ve considered hooking up with one of your guy friends. In the words of my beautiful roommate: “Guy best friends take on a whole new meaning when it’s been a month since you’ve gotten laid.” But how do you know if they should just stay a friend or if they could become your FWB?
Consider how you became friends.
Where you met the potential FWB is pretty important. Now, it may seem obvious, but if you met him through your ex-boyfriend, then don’t do it. Since he was friends with you ex-bf you probably have things in common, but trust me, this will just cause drama.
However, if you became friends in the dorm or from a class, there is definitely some FWB potential!
Is there alcohol involved?
If you met and casually talked over one or two drinks, that’s ok. But if you’ve each had a few beers and several shots of tequila, that’s not ok. This is how sexual assaults happen, so don’t even go there. This is not a good FWB situation.
Do you trust him/her?
If you’re going to be hooking up with a friend, you need to be sure they aren’t going to blab to all of their friends (or yours) about you. Now, if you don’t really care about your reputation, then skip to the next section, but for those of you who want to keep up dignified appearances, read on! You don’t have to trust a potential FWB with your life necessarily, but they should be self-assured enough that they don’t need to prove to everyone that they can get laid.
Mutual respect.
You need to trust that a FWB will respect your limits. Just because you slept with them once, does NOT mean you have to do it again. Even though they heard that you tried something crazy with some other guy, does not mean you have to do that crazy thing with them! Once again ladies, this goes both ways. If a guy isn’t comfortable with something, don’t push him into it or make him feel embarrassed.
Are you both emotionally capable of a FWB type of relationship?
There are so many ways this one could go wrong. If your potential FWB might like you as more than a friend, don’t hook up with them! This will just hurt them, and you’ll probably lose a friend. And even if they don’t like you now, do they have the type of personality that will “catch feelings”? This goes for you too ladies, don’t settle for FWB if you want more.
Basically, go with your gut. You know your potential FWB, you know yourself, and you know red-flags. Just don’t ignore these things, and if you are hesitant, don’t hook up with them!