I have been in a relationship for a little over a year and it has been one of the best years of my life. Not only is my boyfriend one of the most kind and patient people I have ever met, but also he is a spiritual leader in our relationship, pointing us consistently to The Lord.
As much as a fairytale as I like to believe I live in, it hasn’t always been easy because I have an independent heart.
I grew up with my mom and my brother, and we did the best we could as a single parent family unit, and while I would never trade my little unit for the world, it taught me the importance of being highly independent.
I was taught from a young age that I was capable of doing anything I set my mind to, that hard work is something that is so incredibly valued and important, and that you don’t need anyone telling you that you can’t do something. If someone wanted to try and bring you down, try and downgrade your success, or even try and tell you that you were incapable, you proved them wrong.
I went 19 years with this in my heart and in my mind, so when I entered this relationship I had to find the balance of keeping my independence but also giving the proper attention and love to my significant other, and that was, and still is, hard.
I found myself in a balancing act of trying to maintain the level of independence that was comfortable for me, but also trying to provide the attention that I knew my boyfriend deserved and in the process, I was losing myself.
It could have been a personality error, it could have been that I wasn’t sure how to show because I hadn’t seen how a true relationship should work, or it could be that I was just dumb, but I had no idea how to balance my values and what I had known to be true while still being a good partner.
I tried to change and I drove myself crazy knowing it wasn’t me until I realized at the end of the day, I didn’t have to sacrifice anything, rather just be the person that I have always been, while still bettering myself everyday, because the person that my boyfriend chose to be with is still that independent woman.
Sure, it is a very difficult task, and I really struggle with it everyday, but I realized that is normal and that growing pains will happen in everything I do, but if that same independence that is instilled in me has taught me anything, it is that I can overcome it.