So for those of you who don’t know, Primo’s (in the Boone Mall), has a contest called “The Godfather Challenge.” The goal is to eat a 6 pound calzone in under 45 minutes, and if you win you get a free T-shirt. Now, I will do anything for a free T-shirt, and I am an expert at eating food, so I had the bright idea to try this food challenge the other day. Here are 30 thoughts I had during my struggle.
1. There is no limit to what I will do for a free T-shirt.
2. Oh my godddd, I’m so hungry. Bring it on already!
3. Aaaand, it’s literally the size of a newborn baby… 6 pounds.
4. I totally got this. It’s not THAT big.
5. Ok. It’s going well. I can do this, right?
6. Why did I choose to add onions?!
7. Starting to feel a little full… I should probably be concerned.
8. I can’t do this. Oh my god, I’m gonna throw up.
9. No! Don’t let them know you are struggling!
10. You’ve been preparing your whole life for this! Think of all those late-night food binges.
11. I REALLY WANT THAT DAMN SHIRT!
12. Ok, just burped. All is well. Got a second wind. I can totally do this.
13. How do people do this? Seriously?
14. There is only one woman who has done this. I have to do it for the women! Leslie Knope would do it!
15. Either I’m going to gain a lot of weight right now, or I’m gonna be on the toilet all night.
16. I can’t tell if my roommates are concerned, grossed out or just feeling sorry for me?
17. Yep, they’re definitely pitying me.
18. I’ve literally never seen them be this sympathetic before.
19. I can totally drag this out, and then they’ll be so nice to me the rest of the night.
20. You’re like ¾ of the way through! Just finish it!
21. Ughhhhhhhhghghghghgh.
22. Yeah I’m done.
23. I can’t give up though.
24. I’ll just eat really slow until the timer goes off, then no one can say I gave up.
25. They 100% rigged that timer.
26. I shouldn’t have to pay for this. This was torture!
27. Maaan, and I didn’t get a free T-shirt.
28. I just want to sleep and wallow in my fullness.
29. I feel like that girl from Willy Wonka.
30. This car ride is going to be awful.