It’s been x days since my roommate and I have been able to add another layer to our Val mug stack. The cups are stacked neatly one atop the other, a proud display by our windowsill. Our pyramid is pretty impressive, I must say. But something about a paper cup stack just isn’t as appealing as the black mug aesthetic.
Wanting to know what was stopping the dishwater, I set out to unearth the abduction of all of the non-paper/plastic dining hall utensils.
After months of meeting and persuading, Valentine staff members recently agreed to collaborate with the Department of Food Science at UMass to execute a new campus-wide experiment. The faculty members are testing a newly formed hypothesis that food tastes better served with paper plates and bowls and plasticware. So far, the hypothesis doesn’t seem to be very well supported. The affected population is infuriated and impatient with the dining hall status, Val staff members dislike throwing away the plastic bags holding, and the money that was saved from going tray-less is going toward the expenses of this experiment.
Should this experiment be carried out in the future, researchers should account for extra time made for preliminary rounds with sturdier plasticware. Someday, the sound of forks snapping, under the pressure of hungry college students who are cutting into their grilled chicken, will subside. But until that day arrives, we will have to pray that the paper plates are “heavy duty” enough for soups and cereal to sit as we Val-sit.