Alcohol is a prominent part of college social life. Most of the parties revolve around it, and if you’re a Lord Jeff, chances are that the pregame before the party is going to be the highlight of your night (no offense, Amherst). With alcohol being the huge social lubricant that it is, some of us are bound to go a little too far at some point, or– uh– lubricate a little too much. If you remember freshman year, you probably recall all those mandatory lectures about the evils of alcohol, and what to do to make sure you don’t go over the top. Not to belittle our peer counsellors’ efforts, but the fact of the matter is that methods like tallying our shots and paying constant attention to the contents of our solo cups are not going to cut it for many of us. We forget to commit every single drink we have to memory. Cups get mixed up. We succumb to the lure of “that one last drink”.
This article is not going to chastise or patronize you about the dangers of your behaviour (my guess is many people around you are doing that already). This article is going to tell you what to do, and what NOT to do, when you or your friend is past the point of no return. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not condoning binge drinking, nor am I encouraging you to indulge in it. But let’s be real here. This is something that happens and is most likely going to happen to you or one of your friends.
So here’s the scenario: Your friend has evidently had way too much to drink and you, good, reliable friend that you are, are stuck taking care of him/her.
What You Should Do
- Give him/her water: We all know the drill on this one. Alcohol sucks up all the water in your body, so the symptoms of drunkenness and later on hangover are caused by dehydration. The best way to fight this is by drinking water. This is most feasible if your friend is in a conscious, alert and, hopefully, cooperative mood.
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Get him/her to the nearest bathroom: This is the gross part. We all know what happens in that shower stall and no, we don’t like being a part of it, but throwing up is the best and fastest way to get rid of some of the alcohol. There’s a reason why it is your body’s first reaction when you’ve had too much alcohol. If your friend is not too far gone, once might do the trick. If she’s had a lot of alcohol (especially anything that classifies as a spirit), then she might need to spend a more extensive period of time in there. Either way, getting it all out is the best way to avoid the nasty hangover that is sure to follow. Throwing up might indicate improvement. Dry heaving however, does not. If your friend is dry heaving, meaning that he/she is having throwing up convulsions but that nothing is actually coming out then you should…
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- Call an ambulance or the police: We all hate doing that (probably even more than assisting our friends in the bathroom), but at some point it just has to be done. You can never be 100% sure that your friend is going to be just fine and frankly, that’s not a risk you want to take. So here are a couple examples of when it is time to leave your friend in the hands of professionals:
- If he/she is dry heaving: Like I said earlier, dry heaving is vomiting convulsions without any vomit and basically means that your body has become toxic from all the alcohol and dehydration. If your friend is convulsing too much to have some water, you should get him/her to some medics who will hook him/her up to an IV.
- If he/she’s passed out: One thing that many of us don’t often realize is that falling asleep and passing out are NOT the same thing. If your friend is passed out, she won’t be woken up by the need to accomplish pesky little bodily functions like going to the bathroom, vomiting or even breathing. Passing out due to alcohol consumption is also known as an ethylic coma, and the scary thing about it is that things like convulsions or vomit won’t wake up someone in that state. This puts them at all sorts of risks like choking on their own vomit or falling into apnoea, which is when people stop breathing, and can result in death.
What You SHOULD NOT Do
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Give him/her anything caffeinated: We all already know that mixing caffeinated drinks with alcohol is bad, but a lot of people also assume that because drinks like coffee or Redbull are stimulants, drinking them when you are too drunk will help you sober up. The sad truth is that they will neither help with someone’s drunkenness nor with tomorrow’s hangover. If anything, it makes matters worse by further dehydrating your poor friend. What’s more, alcohol and caffeine have opposing influences on the body. Picture a tug of war between alcohol’s depressant and caffeine’s stimulant…and your body is the rope.
- Leave him alone: Your friend might get angry and ask you to do just that. You might feel irritated and grossed out by the whole thing (and maybe just a little eager to go back to the party). But the fact is that you can’t leave someone who’s too drunk by himself. He might injure himself or someone else, or just pass out behind a bush somewhere, leaving you to go on a frantic scavenger hunt.
People drink to relax and enhance parties and other social events. Don’t let it ruin your night.