Congrats! I’m glad you found someone that likes you as much as you like them. Because it happens all the time, I think we often forget how magical the experience can be. If you clicked on this article looking for advice, that means you truly care about the person that you are with and want to help them in anyway you can. While not everyone is not the same, perhaps this can give you some insight on your significant other’s behavior and how to support them.
They may not act like themselves
There are different levels of anxiety and different ways of reacting to it. Sometimes people may shut down and stop talking. Sometimes people have panic attacks. Sometimes people pretend like everything is okay but are less responsive than usual. As their significant other, it maybe easy for you to realize something is wrong. In some cases, it can be something that you did, but often it is an external factor. Asking the person what is wrong can help alleviate the confusion.
Sometimes they may not want to talk about it
After asking your significant other what’s wrong, they may not want to talk about it. Part of the reason the person is feeling anxious is because they may feel unsafe for some reason. Most people feel safest in their own mind and may not want someone else poking around in there.
Asking your partner how you can help is another way of figuring out what they need. Often times multiple choice helps better than anything else. “Would you like to talk it out?” “Would you like to hug it out?” “Would you like to go home/go for a walk…etc?”
They may say stuff they don’t mean
This is probably the trickiest part of any mental disorder. When a person is in a certain state of mind, they may say things that can be hurtful or untrue because they feel like it is real at the time. For example: “I have no friends.” “I’m not good at anything.” “Everybody hates me.” As a partner, these words can be hurtful. Understand that your partner is not in clear state of mind and may not feel the same way in a few days or even in a few hours. Instead of arguing with your partner, try reminding them that they have you and you will be there for them if they want you to be.
This maybe beyond you
While significant others can help each other in many regards, there maybe cases where your partner may need someone else. This person could be a mutual friend of yours, a friend of theirs, a parent, a professor, a counselor, a therapist….the list goes on. Many people with anxiety are anxious about how their disorder gets in the way of their happiness. Your partner may feel more comfortable not letting you in during their really low times, especially at the beginning of your relationship, because they want you to see them at their best. Once again, remind your partner that you are there for them, but are also happy that they have other people that care about them too.
This advice can also apply to any loved one experience any kind of sadness or discomfort. As I said earlier, this advice is not a catch all. You should be very open with your loved one on what they want and what they don’t want. Here are some resources on campus and off-campus for students who need help coping with anything.
Be well~
Image Source: 1