By now, you’ve spent nearly a month with someone who was a total stranger to you until you met on Move-in Day. You both come from different parts of the country of the world, decorate your sides of the rooms differently, have dissimilar personalities, and possibly follow different sleep schedules. Yet for one school year, the two of you will share the same room, study in it, sleep in it, and hang out in it. For one school year, you will share an unprecedented level of intimacy with a (as yet) near stranger.
Your room may very well become a sanctuary for you, a refuge when the storms of life, school, and friends become too tempestuous. Yet it is not a completely safe refuge, since your roommate also shares that refuge with you.
Well, hopefully you two have become acquainted and are living together amicably. However, we have all heard roommate horror stories, and while it’s very unlikely those stories will happen to you, here are a few pieces of roommate advice.
- Make sure you both have a clear understanding of each other’s preferences and housekeeping duties—she vacuums while you take out the trash or vice versa, and she goes to bed at 10 while you consider it a point of honor to stay up till the wee hours. Whatever your version of the above is, respect it and stick to it. And if you haven’t had this talk yet, do it soon.
- Respect your roommate’s privacy. Always ask before taking or using something, and never sit on her bed or allow your friends to sit on her bed unless she gives you permission. Remember the golden rule; unless you’re totally cool with her using you hairbrush, mascara, and lolling on your bed without asking first, don’t do the same to her.
- Get to know each other. Whether it be going to the same introductory meeting, philosophy lecture, getting dinner in town together, or just talking to each other in your room, you’re going to have to live with this person for one year, so you might at least try to become friends. You don’t have to become BFFs and godmother to each other’s children, but at least be friendly.
- Keep calm and take a deep breath. If your roommate is bothering you unbearably, speak up, but keep in mind that you two share the same room. If you anger a friend, at least you don’t have to live with her, but you do have to live with your roommate. Try dealing with the situation peacefully and diplomatically. If that doesn’t work, either try again or ask your RC for help. It’s what they’re there for, so use them.
- If you two have such dissimilar personalities and tastes that friendship is not in the offing, try to coexist civilly. Always be polite and thoughtful, and keep in mind that although you both have to live together for one year, it’s still only one year.
I was lucky my freshman year because my roommate and I became good friends, and are in fact rooming together this year as well. We’re proof that miracles do happen sometimes. I hope that you and your roommate will be able to make through the year amicably and peacefully, and who knows, you two might become good friends as well.