Note: As you read, keep in mind that this is from July 2015.
Ok, so there’s “the talk” that parents feel the need to go over with their children. I just got it again today… It was weird.
Not to mention, my male cousin was in on it.
No matter how I try to belittle my becoming 18, it seems like everyone is more thrilled about it than I am.
I mean, it’s just an age.
But, anyway, my mom asked me if I was going to get a boyfriend in college.
I said that I am not sure, but I am not against the idea. That does not mean that I WANT one, but I am a female. I only acknowledged the fact that I am not boy-repulsed, but I am not boy crazy either. I do not plan to be alone for the rest of my life. But that doesn’t sit well with me; I would rather be alone than settle for anything. It seems that you are better off alone anyway in this cold, cruel world.
She asked me why I said that I might get a boyfriend even if I don’t intend to.
The only answer I could think of was that I am a human female. People get boyfriends for money, security, and all sorts of other reasons, but as for me, if I get a boyfriend, it will be because I genuinely like him for him.
Like, sex can wait. There are still people out there who just want to hang out and enjoy each other’s company; you just have to find them, and it’s hard because people like to pretend to be someone they are not and lie and cheat and break hearts and change.
But that’s life.
That doesn’t mean I should live in isolation.
The way I see it, if I get a boyfriend, and he is not who I thought he was, that’s a lesson learned. But at least I got the lesson and won’t be naive all of my life.
Plus, I spent all of my years not having a boyfriend in high school or junior high to respect my mother’s wishes. I didn’t even have a “play boyfriend” in elementary school, like some of the other children did. I want the experiences. BUT, I believe sex is a sacred thing, you know. It makes you one with the person you have sex with. And, I am one for doing what seems to be the impossible, so I plan on waiting until marriage to have sex.
Why does everyone think that if you hang out with a boy, you like him? Why does everyone think that if you talk about having a boyfriend, it includes having sex?
I have spent time around boys before, and I have not felt the need to entertain any of them, especially sexually. And frankly, I don’t believe I will in the future. I am too stubborn. When I believe something, I stick to it; even my Mom has said that.
But for some reason, she still connects the boys with sex. I don’t blame her, though.
I just don’t feel the need to group all boys into one category.
I feel like I am set apart from most teenagers, and I can’t seem to understand why my Mom believes having a boyfriend is so bad. Does she really expect me to not like any boys? Or is she just doing what most moms do, and just telling me to be careful in her own way?
I don’t know, but I don’t want to have to feel guilty for being open to someday having a boyfriend. I mean, is that so bad?
I’m not looking, but if I just happen to stumble upon someone I like, why not give him a chance?
Life is too short not to at least try. What if I die without getting the wisdom people get from having boyfriends? That’d be something I’d regret. And I don’t plan on having any regrets, no matter what mistakes I may make. Just life lessons.
Plus, if I do get a boyfriend, I’m going to talk to God about it, as well as my elder sister. That’s good, right? And as for the getting pregnant thing, I don’t plan on being on birth control because I feel like that’s cheating life. If I’m not ready for the responsibility, I won’t do the deed.
And that’s just how I feel. I’m not ready for a child; I have a life to live. People take sex very lightly in these modern times, and I just don’t see sex as merely a stress reliever. It binds you to someone. Therefore, I feel it can wait until after marriage.
I don’t believe it’s that easy, but reading the Bible gives you wisdom and strength, and since I have been reading daily, I truly believe that those laws were written for protection, not just from God’s wrath and your enemies but from the minds, hearts, and deception of others. It even protects you from yourself. You just have to put it to use no matter how crazy you end up looking.
So what about you? Did you get “the talk”? When did you get your first boyfriend/girlfriend? Any lessons learned?