If you’re in college, you’re bound to write a research paper one day. It’s a fact of life that none of us can ignore. For those of us who’ve done this dreadful deed, we all know about the emotional rollercoaster it comes with. For those of you who don’t know, I’m going to lay out the real stages of writing a research paper, the ones they don’t tell you about in class.
Stage 1: False Acceptance
This stage occurs early on in the process. You’re sitting in class when your professor hands you the prompt, and you look at it and think, “Hey, yeah, I can do this. “Easy peasy lemon squeezy.” You start brainstorming ideas, narrowing down your topic, and then BAM! You’ve got it! You know what you’re going to write about. But little do you know, it’s all about to go downhill from here.
Stage 2: The Research
Right about now you’ll probably find yourself sitting on the silent floor of the library, typing away vigorously into Jstor or Academic Search Premiere, trying to find at least one scholarly source that captures what you want to say. Well, it’s a lot harder than you thought now isn’t it? You get desperate and start combining random words and terms together and pray you’ll find something that will work. You end up searching The New York Times website trying to see if there’s a popular source out there that you can use. Then you start thinking to yourself, “BUT THERE’S SO MUCH INFORMATION OUT THERE WHY CAN’T I FIND ANYTHING!?” This paper just went from “easy peasy lemon squeezy” to a “WHY DID I DO THIS TO MYSELF!?” You’re just about near the breaking point until you finally find one article that sums up your thoughts. You start clicking links and finding new articles, and eventually you found what you needed! This is a shorted lived feeling though, because soon enough you reach rock bottom.
Stage 3: The Breakdown
This usually starts the Friday before the paper is due, and ends around the night before it’s due. Right about now you’ve dug yourself a hole and are desperately trying to claw your way out. “How could this be?” you ask yourself, “I had so much information.” Your peer edits have markings all over them and your rough draft has comments on it that haunt you in your sleep. You find yourself staring at your computer screen trying to fix everything that has gone wrong. You even consider writing a brand-spanking new paper, but no. If you’re anything like me, you’ll probably find yourself lying on your bed in the fetal position the weekend before it’s due, praying that it was all a bad dream, and you’ll wake up on a tropical island with Ryan Gosling lying down next to you. I regret to inform you, but that is just not the case. But no need to go into panic overload yet! The next and final stage is lurking around the corner, and soon enough this devil of a paper will be off your hands.
Stage 4: The Relief
Right about now, you’re handing in that paper to your professor. You don’t care about what you get anymore, you’re just happy to get rid of it. The minute that class is over, a weight has been lifted off your shoulders, and you’re dancing around like an idiot on the quad with a dumb look on your face because, YOU JUST DON’T CARE! That paper is out of your life forever! That is, until you get it back…
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