2017 put journalism in the spotlight. Between investigative reporting stories unearthing sexual harassment cases to tweet upon tweet of “fake news” allegations, the media has not been silent. As Washington D.C. turns into a literal episode of House of Cards, other places around the country are still going on like normal.
Well, some of it is not so normal. Check out the seven weirdest news headlines of 2017:
1. “Detroit Police Officers Fight Each Other in Undercover Op Gone Wrong“
Detroit, Michigan. A group of undercover Detroit cops posing as drug dealers tried to arrest a group of undercover Detroit cops posing as drug buyers. They then got into a fist fight in the middle of the street. If that’s not wild I don’t know what is.
2. “Police: Fairfax Co. Substitute Teacher Was Drunk at Work, Passed Out at Desk“
Fairfax County, Virgina. To be honest, I think most of my high school teachers were drunk at work too—we just didn’t catch them. A group of 10-12th graders tried to wake him up. Apparently, substitute teaching isn’t quite as fulfilling as it seems.
3. “Man Gets His Dying Wish: To Be Buried with 2 Cheese Steaks“
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. “No onions,” his grandson said he would say, “because they’ll come back to haunt me.” In a shocking twist, he died of heart problems. Who would have thought?
4. “Police: Woman Facing Arson Charges Told Investigators She Lit Fire to Rid Porch of Spiders“
Scranton, Pennsylvania. To be honest, we’ve all thought about doing this once or twice.The real question is: Did it work?
5. “Police: Dispute Over Forgotten Chicken Sandwich Turns Violent“
Scranton, Pennsylvania. It resulted in charges for simple assault, terroristic threats, harassment, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct. This can’t be the first time a fight over a chicken sandwich turned out this way.
6. “KC Detective Ends Interview After Suspect Answers Question with ‘Loud Fart’“
Kansas City, Missouri. “Mr. Sykes continued to be flatulent and I ended the interviews,” the detective running the case wrote. The suspect was brought in on federal gun and drug charges. I don’t know why they never tried it on Law and Order.
7. “Tally’s Hauls Big Tuna from the Woods“
Gloucester, Massachusetts. Police found a headless 400lb tuna in the woods, but it’s an open investigation and police “can’t offer any details.” Even if they could, I’m not sure I’d want to hear them.
In conclusion: Florida isn’t the only place weird stuff goes down.