It seems at though every Monday night, “The Bachelor” has taken over the world, or at least our social media feeds, and being out of the loop can leave you with major FOMO. So we hopped on the band wagon and watched Episode 1 of Season 20, and here’s what we thought.
1. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”
You feel like you’ve stooped down to a new level of low (yes even below the time you watched reruns of “The Simple Life”)
2. “What could make 20+ women leave their lives to simultaneously date one man?”
No man could make you leave your beautiful lifestyle of Netflix & Nutella to live with 25 women that are also dating my boyfriend.
3. “Aww he’s so cute!!”
The whole premise of the show makes total sense now *licks spoon of Nutella*
4. “Why does a cute boy-next-door with good family values want to date 20+ women all at once?”
Ben doesn’t strike you as a womanizing playboy; this show is confusing.
*Ben says he’s unlovable*
5. “OMG BEN NO I’LL LOVE YOU!”
This show is already an emotional rollercoaster
*Ben’s mom starts to cry and your confused as to why she’s crying*
6. “Why am I watching your mother cry, Ben? Why are you crying Ben?”
You question the validity of these emotions.
7. “Oh wait The Bachelor Alumni Reunion??”
You meet three previous Bachelors that you do not recognize at all; you’re indifferent.
8. “If I thought it was possible to end a serious relationship for a man you saw on television I would have broken up with my middle school boyfriend much sooner.”
If Zac Efron, circa High School Musical 2, was the new Bachelor, 10-year-old you would have been first in line to sign up.
9. “Jubilee is one beautiful badass.”
The woman is incredible.
10. “TWINS”
Suddenly you’re having flashbacks to watching The Shining during a 9th grade sleepover where you never actually slept.
11. “Chicken Enthusiast… sounds like my kind of gal.”
You find yourself identifying the most with the woman who has to make the tough decision between Ben the Bachelor and her chickens.
12. ~It’s limo time~
You’re unaware of the drama ahead.
13. “Someone hand this man a cup of water”
You can’t help but cringe at these incredibly awkward introductions.
14. “Let’s rename the show The Bachelor: Circus Edition”
So far a unicorn head, a giant rose, a miniature horse, a pair of twins and a hoverboard have all made appearances and you’re starting to regret the choice you made.
15. “Lace is the most entertaining girl in this joint.”
She seems problematic but she’s also a manifestation of that girl that we all know lives inside us.
16. “I feel like I could have picked out the top 10 by now.”
You pity Ben for his tedious job.
17. ~Plotwist~ Amber and Becca show up and you don’t understand their significance but you quickly catch on.
This is the classic ‘high school graduates hang around school to relive their glory days’ move.
18. “I want to be Lace’s best friend”
Lace seems like the kind of girl that will help you do some socially unacceptable things and regret nothing afterwards.
19. “These women are playing tug of war with this poor guy.”
You believe that Ben will have whiplash by the end of the night.
20. “Ohh snap! The first impression rose. Who’s going to get it?”
Still unaware of the significance, it seems like a big deal so you’re excited.
21. “Wow Olivia has really great teeth.”
Your theory: Ben was most likely blinded and hypnotized by her pearly whites, forcing him to give her the rose.
22. “Really Ben?”
Needless to say you’re disappointed with Ben’s picks at the end of the night.
23. “Obviously the drama is just beginning, you signed up for this.”
What else did he expect?
24. “How could he not take the Chicken Enthusiast?!”
25. “Prediction for season 20 winner is Jubilee. Taking bets now.”
You’ve only seen this one episode and don’t plan on watching more, but you’re confident.