Back in high school, having a girlfriend or boyfriend was pretty much the ultimate achievement. Being in a relationship in high school was basically the equivalent of “making it” in the world. There were times when it felt like literally everyone was making things Facebook official. If you were one of those who did not have a significant other in high school, it was easy to feel like the odd one out. However, leaving high school and entering college helps give a fresh perspective on relationships and life. Not dating in high school suddenly doesn’t matter anymore. In fact, there are many positives of having gone through high school completely solo.
1. You’ve learned to depend on yourself.
After years of independence, you’ve gained confidence in knowing you can stand on your own. Life is filled with challenges and difficulties, and can be very unpredictable. However, being single throughout high school has helped you realize that no matter how difficult things become, you can persevere and overcome obstacles on your own (and with the love and support of family and friends)! The fear of being alone is very common and extremely understandable. Even Miley Cyrus (referring to her breakup with Liam Hemsworth) talked about how she was, “so scared of ever being alone,” and said, “I don’t ever want to have to need someone again where you feel like without them you can’t be yourself.” Your independence in high school has helped you learn to depend on yourself, and know that even in times of adversity, you’ll make it through.
2. You were able to discover yourself.
Going throughout high school without a significant other forced you to look within yourself, and discover who you are and what you like. It is easy to lose who you are when you are in a relationship. Your years of independence have helped you really explore yourself without the pressure of a significant other.
3. You were able to focus on other things.
Let’s be honest. Relationships can be very distracting. Going through high school single allowed you to focus on other things, whether that was your academics, sports, or other extracurricular activities. You had more time to focus on other activities and explore your hobbies and passions.
4. You most likely experienced less drama in high school.
Unfortunately, along with relationships often come drama. This is especially true in high school, when everybody likes to be in everybody else’s business. While some people claim that they enjoy drama, it’s pretty safe to say that most people try to avoid it. Without a relationship, you likely experienced less drama throughout your high school years.
5. You aren’t tied down to anybody from back home.
The transition away from your hometown and to a completely new location at college is challenging enough. While long distance relationships can be successful, they can also prevent you from meeting new people and becoming integrated into your new environment. Or being emotionally tied to an ex from back home can prevent you from pursuing fresh relationships in college. Be grateful for the freedom that not being tied down to anybody from home brings.
6. You mostly like have less emotional baggage.
Sadly, most high school relationships don’t end with happily ever after. They oftentimes end with heartbreak, anger and drama. Without being in a relationship in high school, you are most likely coming into college with less emotional baggage that could prevent someone from pursuing future healthy relationships. Be happy about this.
7. You don’t have any embarrassing Facebook statuses/pictures.
We all remember those over-edited couple photos with the sappy quotes that dominated Facebook during freshman and sophomore year of high school. While these Picnik edits looked like the ultimate sign of romance in high school, its embarrassing to uncover one of a couple that broke up years ago. Or that person who bragged about their “perfect boyfriend” freshman year, only to break up two days later (which would of course be followed by a sad song lyric). If nothing else, be thankful that these embarrassing high school posts on social media never happened to you.
8. You know what you are looking for in a significant other, and aren’t going to settle for someone who isn’t right for you.
You’ve were single all throughout high school. You aren’t willing to settle for just anybody. Hey, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being picky when it comes to relationships! You have come to realize what you are looking for, and aren’t going to date somebody who isn’t right for you just to date somebody.
9. You have learned not to rely on others to make you happy.
You are in charge of your own happiness. You have learned to be happy on your own. Nobody else is controlling you happiness but you.
10. YOU define you.
And finally, nobody else defines who you are except for you. When it comes to dating, it’s easy to get caught up. Some people can be in a relationship for so long that they lose their sense of self, and only feel defined by being “someone’s girlfriend” or “someone’s boyfriend.” Being in a relationship can be amazing and can be a wonderful complement to you, but at the end of the day, it is important to feel whole just being with yourself. Nobody else should define who you are except for you.