If you are a peruser of the Internet, you’re most likely familiar with the millennial bashing op-eds that crop up every now and then. One of the most abused forms of this clickbait is the hook-up culture phenomenon and how it’s desecrating the centuries old institution of love. The serial swipers and the DM sliders don’t hold a candle to the chivalrous gentlemen of decades past. In these articles, the dating style of our parents’ is lauded above the Internet-obsessed romance of today. “Real” dates of dinner and a movie clearly must be better than Netflix and chilling. Social media apps aren’t real relationship kindling. A meet-cute is the only legitimate last-ditch love connection. Though this is still believed to be true, much of the stigma behind online-dating has disappeared, only to be replaced by a hunger for more. There are more opportunites than ever to meet someone online and there is an entirely new market for dating apps and sites that have flooded the market. Many still tote the “I was born in the wrong generation” mindset when it comes to romance, but the options and versatility that online dating brings to the playing field is undeniable.
In a world that is becoming increasingly smaller and a social environment that is gaining much more traction, online dating is only going to become more prevalent in our lives. The popular dating app that founded the swiping phenomenon has over 25 million users (reported as of late 2016) with over 10 million matches being made every single day. They’ve accrued a total 9 billion matches overall. If you believe in soulmates, Tinder has to be the most efficient way of finding one. In mere seconds, you can see an array of photos of a potential match, see your friends in common, compare interests, read a short bio and get their age, education and most recent job. Information that would take multiple dates to acquire can be seen with a click to expand their profile.
“Real world” dating that existed 50 years ago just isn’t viable any longer. When women went to college for their M.R.S degree and got married straight out of high school, waiting around for any old Prince Charming to come sauntering out of the mist was fine. But now that women have the option to pursue careers and higher opportunities, the dating arena has grown smaller. Though it’s nice to meet someone in person and then get to know them organically, a working woman is limited to her classmates and co-workers. With internships, heavy classwork and even full-time jobs, there’s not time to meander through all the first dates and awkward missed connections. Online dating opens up the field to the eligible bachelors that are within a 20 mile radius, making it easier to find a connection rather than sifting through friends of friends to find a match.
Still not convinced? Tinder isn’t just for hooking up. Though there are platforms like Match.com that are geared more towards the long term relationship, quick and easy apps like Tinder have sown the seeds of real relationships, even leading to marriage in some cases. Tinder even gets a lot of Save the Dates from users who were so happy with their match, they decided to tie the knot. Tinder not your speed? Apps and websites are catering to specific attributes users are looking for. Qualities like religious-affilitation, age range, and even rural vs. city (FarmersOnly, anyone?) have their own jurisdictions in the online dating world. Are you a lady who likes making the first move? Bumble lets you deliver the first pickup line. There’s a new realm for every guy or gal who’s looking for love online.
I’ve been a Tinder user for two years now. I’ve seen my fair share of creeps, sustained a good amount of one-night stands, and seen some promising connections fizzle. I’ve been ghosted, bread-crumbed, catfished, and friend-zoned. Tinder has often been a source of enjoyment on Wine Wednesdays or a Girl’s Night, but I’m happy to say that I’ve found a true blue stand-up guy through Tinder. He’s someone who inspires me and drives me to push myself to be a better scholar and human being. But without Tinder, I would never have met him. I would have gone my entire life without ever crossing paths with one of the best men I’ve ever met. We don’t run in the same social circles, we don’t work at the same place, we don’t go to the same school and we don’t even live in the same state. But he is as legitimate as any man that I’ve met through any other real medium. Meeting him on Tinder doesn’t make him any less of a good guy. Our relationship isn’t weaker just because it started out with a swipe. If you still believe that, it’s time to reevaluate your modern love-life without the influence of the Internet. Though you may pine after the ever-romantic and tumultuos 1950s for some reason, dating has evolved to accomodate for a wider dating pool. People are connecting over their interests and passions, not just their graduating class. High school sweethearts and office romances are still as adorable and heart-warming as ever. But the supplemental addition of online-bred relationships are becoming very real. Romance isn’t dead, it’s just adapting.
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