12 Reasons Why Being Lactose Intolerant Sucks

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Lactose intolerance is the term used to define your body’s inability to digest lactose, a sugar found in dairy products. In more science-y terms, your body doesn’t produce enough lactase to break down lactose. If a lactose intolerant person has dairy without taking a lactase supplement, they experience one or more of the following nightmares: bloating, gas, diarrhea, indigestion, and stomach cramps. Oh, and over 30 to 50 million Americans are lactose intolerant.

 

That’s right– these poor souls cannot go a moment without being cautious of every bit of food and drink entering their stomach. I’m lactose intolerant, and let me tell you a not-so-secret secret: it SUCKS. Here’s a sad little list of 12 reasons why I pretty much can’t look at food the same way anymore.

 

1. You ALWAYS have to read the ingredients in everything to make sure it has no dairy.

 

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2. You can't binge on ice cream, chocolate, milkshakes, cakes, cupcakes, brownies, or anything milky anymore. (I mean seriously, I can’t even enjoy a cream cheese bagel!)

 

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3. There's always that awkward moment when you have to ask the waiter/waitress at a restaurant (or other food place) if they have any dairy-free options.

 

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4. When you do find dairy-free options, they’re much pricier than dairy options. It’s so criminal I might as well suffer with dairy.

 

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5. Your friends think you’re on a diet every time you turn down ice cream, milkshakes, cake, etc.

 

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6. Speaking of friends, you dread that moment someone asks you what happens if you have dairy.

 

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7. There’s always that once-in-a-while moment you accidentally have dairy, and, well…

 

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8. You have to remember to bring lactase pills with you wherever you go.

 

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9. The pill seems like a magical cure-all, but here’s the catch: It only helps you for about half an hour. Oh, and you have to take multiple pills depending on how much milk is in what you’re eating.

 

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10. Sometimes, you underestimate how much milk is in what you’re eating, and one pill isn’t enough. Whoops.

 

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11. There are (many) times you crave dairy but realize you don't have the pill on you.

 

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12. Every once in a while, you say “Screw it,” go for the dairy, and suffer the consequences later.

 

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About The Author

Hey everyone! My name is Noor and I'm a 20 year-old college senior. I'm studying biology, I'm in the Levermore Global Scholars program, and my long term goal is to go to medical school to become an obstetrician. I'm also currently a Professional Birth Assistant. I'm a huge rock/metal aficionado- you'll see me at just about every heavy show in New York City! Oh, and I'm makeup-obsessed. Seriously, you'll probably run into me at a Sephora in the Lower East Side, trying on (and probably buying) yet another illuminator or matte cream lip tint. I'm also a proud Muslim who wears the headscarf (hijab) and my motto is that you should have the right to to anything and everything you want in life, just as long as you're not hurting yourself or others. Life is a beautiful little thing and we all have to make the best of it. :) Writing and drawing has been my therapy and escape for years, so I hope you enjoy my work!