One year ago, I never thought that I would ever try out online dating, but there was something about my 20th birthday that changed me. I kicked off my birthday by doing one of the most spontaneous things I’ve ever done — getting a second piercing in my ears. After watching an episode of Jane the Virgin where Jane’s best friend creates an OkCupid account for Jane, I was inspired to search online for single guys in my area. This was the most spontaneous thing I’ve ever done. I thought to myself, OK, I’ll just make an account and see what kinds of guys have accounts and then I’ll delete my account. No big deal. Except I didn’t delete it.
I was sucked into online dating. I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt and shame because I didn’t think that I was trusting God enough. So many Christians steer clear from online dating for this very reason: they view online dating as a lack of trust in God’s ability to introduce them to their match by natural means such as meeting in a café, at church, in school or through a mutual friend. I tried Christian Mingle in order to “find God’s match for [me],” but I didn’t want to invest my money into dating online anymore, so I stuck with OkCupid, a free online dating site.
In this technological age, many people are taking advantage of mobile apps and dating sites because of the convenience and simplicity. According to a study published in February 2016 by Pew Research, 15 percent of U.S. adults have used online dating websites or apps. In the same study, Pew Researchers noticed that online dating among 18 to 24-year-olds has nearly tripled since 2013 from 10 percent to 27 percent. The elderly have also starting to jump in on the hype, as 12 percent of 55 to 64-year-olds are now using online dating sites or apps, in comparison to 6 percent in 2005. Perhaps the most significant statistic, however, is that 5 percent of Americans who are either married or in a committed relationship say that they owe it to online dating. Contrary to what I once personally thought, online dating is not just for hook-ups. Many users are serious about finding a potential spouse.
However, as a former user of online dating (yes, I eventually deleted my account), I would advise every woman, Christian or not, to practice caution: before you decide to create an account, think about what you hope to gain from the online dating experience. I suggest you figure out what you are looking for before you dive headfirst into it, because it can be overwhelming. I also urge you to pray about it before you decide to go for it, something I wish I had done. Online dating may not be God’s will for you—it’s certainly not for everyone. I met a guy online who knew exactly what he wanted. He was ready to find a committed relationship or get married, but I wasn’t ready…yet. I wasn’t sure if he was “God’s match for me.” I’m still not sure. So the most important word of advice I can give my fellow sisters in Christ is this: Before you try to “find God’s match for you,” find God’s will for you. God will lead you. Don’t lead yourself—you will only lead yourself into a path of confusion and heartbreak. Rather, let Him lead you.