Just as you were finally accepting that you’d never understand how to use Instagram’s updated algorithm from May, Instagram updated their algorithm again.
While we might not live our lives on Insta, it’s refreshing to use our feed and stolen memes to take a 15-minute break and at least pretend to escape from the Black Mirror episode that is the news (and allegedly reality, though we refuse to believe this year’s f*ckery isn’t a hologram).
According to Tech Crunch, the latest algorithm updates rely on adaptive artificial intelligence to learn your Insta behaviors and fill your feed with similar posts that the personal algorithm thinks you’ll like enough to double tap—or at least save and steal. But don’t worry: the Insta learning machine doesn’t know that you’re a terrible Insta-clout-stealing person, at least not yet.
Essentially, the algorithm uses an equation of frequency, time spent on a post and time-worthiness to redirect your attention to potentially similar content, Hypebeast reports.
Honestly, your personal Insta feed is probably already biased because you already took a nap while sleuthing one of the twenty Chrises of Hollywood. After your Insta-lullabied snooze, your feed is filled with Hemworths, Pratts and various Evans stan accounts (because your favorite mustache-rocking, sweater-wearing dork doesn’t have an Insta), and it’s basically impossible to escape this self-imposed, but AI guided, thirst-trap now.
Still, you’ve kind of given up learning about the newest Instagram algorithms because your feed is going to be full of your celeb crushes regardless of the Insta-official updates. Regardless, there are some ways you can cope with the reality that Instagram might release a new algorithm before you fully comprehend this current one.
1. Create an Insta account for your pet (or your roommate’s pet that you claim as your own on your social accounts)
Even if your tarantula pug isn’t the most photogenic, scruffy-looking Insta hunk, spending hours attempting to get the perfect photo and ultimately settling for a decent one that’s still somewhat blurry will keep you distracted from the ambiguous algorithm that Instagram still hasn’t thoroughly explained.
2. Troll those wannabe incels in your DMs
As long as you don’t have your location listen in your bio, trolling some of the creeps that plague your DM can at least give you some upvote-worthy Reddit material for r/ inceltears . After all, maybe if you talk to the incels they won’t commit horrendous and misogynistic crimes that publications and investigators will ultimately blame you for.
3. Pick up a new hobby, like Twitter
To be fair, Twitter is such a welcoming virtual environment that’s filled with friendly and compassionate fandoms. Who knows, your tweeting could transition into a blossoming stan account—and we all know that tweeting about Zendaya is a fulltime job that anyone would be lucky to have. Plus, we could all use the resume builders.
4. Tag your friends in the comment sections of irrelevant posts
If your Insta algorithm is messed up, then your bestie’s probably is too. So, why not suggest some new content to the all-seeing Insta AI?
5. Use your extra spare time to practice some self-care
With all the time you won’t spend attempting to finetune your Instagram browsing patterns, you’ll have more time to dedicate to your self-care and skincare routines (which might be mutually exclusive some days). If you’re out of self-care inspo, try slathering food products in your hair and on your face—because beauty is multi-faceted, which means it can be edible too.
Nevertheless, your coping mechanisms might not last for long because you’ll inevitable attempt to use every tutorial and blog to figure out the ever-changing Instagram algorithm, especially now that the social media platform plans to extend the maximum allotted time in videos.
According to The Verge, Insta might soon allow its users to upload up to an hour of video footage. Aside from the fact that this potentially impending feature sounds like a low-key way for Instagram to compete with the Netflix and YouTube’s dynasties, you might want to take up video production and video editing as one of your coping-induced hobbies.