When We Get You Alone: The Best Songs to Hook Up To

Spike and Buffy understand how crucial song selection is to hook-up success. After all, once they had an entirely musical episode.
 
A hook-up, like a road trip or a training montage is better with a soundtrack. You’d think the background music issue would be easier now more than ever, what with our increased access to music and all. But alas, times were so simple when a person could put a record on and know exactly what songs would play and in what order. There was no risk of the potential humiliation of an iPod left on shuffle—you go to all that trouble setting the mood, and freaking “Party in the USA” comes on and it’s like a bucket of ice water got dumped on your bed. 
 
As you likely know, the art of the mixtape or its modern iteration, the playlist, is just that—an art. Song selection is vital; one wrong track can kill the moment. All the intricacies and idiosyncrasies of the situation must be taken into consideration. Inquiring minds—and mouths—want to know: What are the best songs to hook up to? Read on for our circumstance-specific guide to your sexual soundtrack!
 
If you’re into stating the obvious

Is it too self-referential or just the right amount of meta to listen to songs about sex while having sex? If that sort of blatant calling of attention to your current activity makes you feel awkward, skip this section. Otherwise, a few options:

• Ben Harper does a surprisingly wonderful cover of “Sexual Healing.”
• Kings of Leon’s “Sex on Fire” is another gimmie.
• For something with less abstract instructions, The Donnas “Take it Off” should get it done for you.
• Jace Everett’s “Bad Things” (the theme to the not-at-all-sex-centric True Blood) can throw some twang in there, if that’s what you’re into.

Please do not put on“Your Body is a Wonderland” unless you are going for humor and/or irony. If you must, play the acoustic version.
 
If your guy is a mellow fellow, a stoner, or both

First of all, congrats on finding a stoner boy who will stop smoking long enough to hook up with you! That is exciting news right there. Now, for the appropriate music, may we recommend:

• “Take Care” by Beach House
• “Everything she says Sounds like Gospel” by Matt Nathanson
• “The Epcot View” by Future Clouds and Radar
• Joseph Arthur’s “Honey and the Moon”
• For the traditionalists among you, Jeff Buckley’s “Lover, You Should’ve Come Over” is a cliché but, well, that’s because it works.
• The song “Sweet Mary” byEqualizer is, technically speaking, actually about weed. But it is also very romantic and could be loosely interpreted as a love song to a woman named Mary. Basically it is perfect for this category, as is Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers’ “Last Dance with Mary Jane.”

If you were making out on a dance floor and just got back to your room

You need something in between whatever Top 40 thing they were blasting at top volume at the party and the chill-tastic tracks mentioned above. Transition tunes. Some suggestions:

• LCD Soundsystem’s “All I Want”
• “The Big Bang” by Rock Mafia (Kevin Zegers, AKA Zac Efron’s more masculine doppelganger, is in the video! You may recognize him as the drug-dealing Damien from Gossip Girl.)
• Prince’s “Kiss”—it’s a classic for a reason, people
• “Fell in love with a Boy” by Joss Stone
• Mike Posner’s “Please Don’t Go” and his fantastically titled “Bow Chicka Wow Wow” should also hit the spot.
• “The Seed 2.0” by The Roots is an excellent choice, but only if it won’t freak you out to listen to a song about a guy getting a girl pregnant while you’re trying to have non-baby-making sex. Your call.