Valentine’s Day sex is notoriously, well, sexy. But that magical headboard-shaking V-Day sex doesn’t happen naturally (at least not for everyone). Whether you and your V-Day date are casual FWBs, in an uncommitted situation-ship, a throuple or you’ve been dating for eons, exceptional Valentine’s Day sex doesn’t just happen—especially if you’re doing the same routine. After all, you can’t go through the same motions and expect different results.
While you could don your overpriced lace lingerie and hope that you and your SO can magically recreate that notorious car sex scene in Titanic, that probably won’t happen— mostly because you and your bae aren’t Kate Winslet and Leo DiCarpio. However, you can stop fantasizing about the top ten movie sex scenes and spice up your sex routine this Valentine’s Day.
So before you go all 50 shades of terrible BDSM stereotypes, try incorporating some of these tips into your Valentine’s Day sex marathon—because you deserve to have some spicy sex this February 14.
1. Make a game out of it
Traditional board games might not make their way into your V-Day evening plans, but making a game or a scavenger hunt out of what happens after your Valentine’s Day dinner can actually help build anticipation—which will make whatever goes down in the bedroom (or kitchen) even sexier.
If generic strip poker games or an X-rated version of Truth of Dare aren’t your thing, then you can always create your own sexy game.
An anonymous student at Iowa State University reveals that she and her SO organize a sexy scavenger hunt on special occasions, including Valentine’s Day. “Sometimes we hide clues around the bedroom and those clues are linked to certain clothing items we’re wearing or certain body parts. We try to be creative and personal with it, so the clues can sometimes say ‘your girlfriend’s favorite physical attribute herself’ and then another clue or a task could be written on my shoulder,” she explains.
While the sexy scavenger hunt might take a decent amount of planning and collaboration with your other half, it’s a creative way to make your V-Day sex better than your typical Tuesday night sex.
Plus, playing a sex-positive game can help ease you both into some tantalizing foreplay (you’re welcome).
2. Watch porn together
While you might not want to start your evening by scouring the internet for porn, watching porn can help get you and your V-Day cutie in the mood. Or the porn could replace your sex soundtrack as some background noise.
A graduate student at the University of Illinois at Chicago, Sara*, explains that she occasionally watches porn with her SO as a way to heat up their sex life. “Sometimes we don’t actually have sex after watching some porn. We just use it as background noise lengthy makeout session.” After all, the porn moans and sounds will surely amplify even the most mundane tongue tango.
Regardless of your taste, you and your V-Day date may want to find some ethical porn, because you can still be a feminist and enjoy porn.
3. Change up the location
If you and your SO typically do the deed from the comfort of your own bed, then you might want to change up that vapid routine and opt for the couch or a chair. Granted, if you have roommates you might not want to do some hanky panky in the common area of your apartment.
Even if your roomies swear that they’ll be out of town on Valentine’s Day or that they’ll call you when they head back to the apartment, it’s always best to anticipate an abrupt interruption.
After all, you might not want your roommate to barge in while you’re mid-climax, up against the living room bookcase (a la Atonement)—unless of course you, your beau and your roommates all consent to that arrangement.
Regardless, we’re pretty sure you don’t want to risk 15 minutes of bliss on your futon just so your roommates can find out that you keep your socks on during sex.
While you and bae could scuttle off to the bathroom to cap your evening (or start it), bathroom sex is riddled with safety hazards and impending sex-related injuries. After all, successful shower sex is basically a myth.
Instead of shifting your horizontal tango to a different area of your apartment, you can always find an inexpensive and classy Airbnb to finish your V-Day with a bang (or five).
4. Tell your V-Day bae what you want to do to in the bedroom
Talking about sex is potentially sexier than sex itself (don’t @ me). After all, talking about sex and everything you want from sex is extremely intimate, even if you and your date have been seeing each other for years.
We all change and so do our passions—including our sexual desires—and while your V-Day babe may have consented to sleep with you, that doesn’t mean they’ve consented to every single sexual act you have planned. Therefore, communicating with your SO about what you find sexy and what you want to do to them (and vice versa) is a great way to make sure everyone is on the same page, and it can help you two lust-birds get in the mood.
If you can’t talk to your partner about your sexual itinerary, hopefully, because it would just lead sex midsentence and not because you’re embarrassed to talk the act with your beau, then you can always try some sexting sessions.
Not only is talking about shagging necessary in a healthy relationship (and yes, that extends to FWBs and one night stands too), it can help you and your SO ease some of your sex anxiety.
5. Get some new toys
Whether you have a cabinet full of sex toys or none at all, getting a new toy or two can help intensify your V-Day sex.
Though you could browse for a new blindfold or bullet vibrator online, going to a physical sex store can help you learn about sex stores you never thought existed, but would totally use.
Most sex toy store employees are eager to help you find the perfect toy for your Valentine’s festivities. If you aren’t a sex toy shop regular, then you might be too timid to ask the cashier for nipple arousal cream suggestions—but you shouldn’t feel ashamed for asking questions.
Sex toy shops are a judgment-free zone. Every customer is there to invest in a toy for themselves or a gag gift for their next bachelorette party (or both), so you shouldn’t hesitate to ask questions.
6. Try some flavored lube (or flavored protection)
Lubrication is essential to healthy and happy sex. You could opt for your generic water-based lube or even try a more advanced lube with a tingly sensation, but even that can get dull at times.
It’s not news that Valentine’s Day is known for its abundance of aphrodisiacs (mostly chocolate). While most people use these sweet libido aids as a warm-up to the grand finale, covering your partner with chocolate syrup is trite—and your V-Day sex-scades should be anything less than corny. (And food-play isn’t for everyone, because it can be messy.)
Flavored lubes are an amazing alternative to the overplayed whipped cream and chocolate. Even if you have a finicky palate, you shouldn’t be timid when it comes to flavored lubes or edible sex paint.
John Remus, a senior at Iowa State University, explains that certain sex-toy shops actually let you taste test the lube at their stores. “They’ll help you find a lube that actually tastes good, so you don’t spend money on something you hate,” John says. After all, it might dull the mood a bit if you start puking because the new flavored lube you bought tastes like Pepto Bismol and crushed aspirin’s offspring, not like that’s ever happened to me before.
If you still can’t quite swallow the idea of using flavored lube, there are plenty of flavored condoms as well as flavored dental dams. Unfortunately, most sex shops won’t give you a free flavored condom to sample; however, most public university offer free condoms and dental dams to their students (including flavored ones).
Regardless of your bedroom plans, using protection is the best way to spice up your evening plans on Valentine’s Day. After all, knowing that you’re protected and relatively worry-free automatically helps your libido.