Sometimes a hookup goes terribly, horribly wrong. And it can be mortifying. But you are not alone, because these 11 college women have been there — and they’re telling all!
“I hooked up with a guy during the first week of school. We were super drunk, and I was giving him head, and he peed on me. Literally the worst thing ever; I haven’t told anyone, obviously.”
-Jess, University of Toronto Class of 2017
“So I met this guy on Tinder. There was some flirty banter involved and by the end of the week, we met up. We walked around campus awhile and then headed back to my apartment. We were in my room and continuing the banter. He started to tickle me which led to us making out and taking off our clothes. He asks if I want to have sex, puts on the condom, goes for it – and then it’s all over like 30 seconds later. I barely had time to adjust to his size by the time he was done.”
-Adeline, Drexel University Class of 2019
“I hooked up with some guy from my financial accounting class a few times. One time, his roommate came home with some random girl that he met at the bar. The roommate introduced the girl to us and we continued to watch the movie that we were watching. While I was watching the movie, his roommate and the girl decided to have sex while we were in the same room as them. The worst part was we were in a studio apartment so we couldn’t go anywhere else. Let’s just say that was the last time we hooked up.”
-Jacqueline, Pace University Class of 2017
“I was at a party I didn’t really want to be at in the first place, but it was the weekend and my friend convinced me to go. Once we got there, though, the people at the party were playing pretty good music, so we started dancing. This guy came up to me and asked if I wanted to dance and I said yes. However, he pulled me in for this really weird front-to-front dancing, which got so awkward because he, like, put his leg under me at one point to get closer and I was basically just sitting on his lap and swaying and also having no idea where to look. Then, he goes in for the kiss and starts more or less annihilating my face. Tongue was everywhere so much so that I could feel his drool — not mine — on my face. Hot, right? Anyway, after a few minutes of this and also still being in the weird kind-of sitting, swaying, awkward position, he pulls away from me and just goes, ‘Well, you’re a good dancer,’ and just walks away. So long story short, I was simultaneously called a good dancer and a bad kisser after a hookup and was not pleased.”
-Molly, NYU Class of 2018
“Things started off great, he was a great kisser so I had semi-high expectations… but then when we started to have sex, he climbed on top of me and just laid there. His whole weight was on top of me, and he didn’t move, so I don’t know if I could consider it sex… Let’s just say I didn’t hit him up again.”
-Sophie, Bentley University Class of 2017
“There was this guy I had a fling with and we’re hooking up and then he just runs out of the room, a few minutes later I get up — naked — to unlock the door because I thought he was struggling, but nope it was his roommate telling me my fling was puking his brains out in the bathroom. Every time I see his roommate I don’t know how to act.”
-Kaitlyn, Bryant University Class of 2016
“I met this guy at a gala my first week of freshman year. He was a Southern man going to school in New England so of course he wooed me! He said all the right things and sure enough I went home with him, and told my friends it was cool to leave without me. Next thing I know I’m told that if I don’t have sex with him I needed to leave. So I said fine please bring me home. He said no and left me alone at his house while he left with his bro’s to get food and wouldn’t let come along. I ended up walking home in the dark. I somehow got home by dawn.”
-Hails, Sacred Heart University Class of 2017
“Earlier in the semester, I met a guy out at a party. We were both pretty drunk and went back to my place to hookup. I woke up in the middle of the night and he wasn’t there, so I assumed he left. I went to the bathroom and found him lying on the floor in my room. I was pretty confused, but left him there because I didn’t know what else to do. In the morning, he was gone…but there was a pee stain on my rug. Just my luck.”
– Rihannon, James Madison University Class of 2017
“I hooked up with a guy and he made us sleep on an air mattress in his common room instead of in his shared room. The air mattress was like partially deflated so I was uncomfortable all night and barely slept. However, when I did sleep something terrible happened and I woke up covered in his pee. I don’t know if he didn’t realize or was just mortified, but he tried to play it off like he spilled something in the bed. Naturally I had to walk home (thankfully he gave me pants) and I could not have gotten in the shower quicker or stayed in longer. I shudder when I think of this.”
-Elizabeth, Dartmouth College Class of 2016
“During Halloweekend, I was going home with this very attractive soccer player. While walking to his dorm, he apologizes for how dirty his room is (which is fine, we’ve all been there). When I get there, the only thing out of place are his bed sheets, and everything else is pristine. Maybe he forgot he cleaned earlier? A few minutes go by, and mid-hookup he stops and immediately stands up and begins frantically cleaning. He sprays not one, but two scents of air freshener, causing me to choke. He then tells me to get off his bed so he can make it (which makes no sense). Finally, he gets his guitar and says ‘I’m going to play for myself, you don’t have to stay if you don’t want.’ So I put on my Halloween costume and left.”
-Morgan, Tufts University Class of 2018
“One time this guy I had a crush on forever finally started talking to me at a party one night. We ended up going back to his place. First off, he was a horrible kisser, but I decided to deal with it. He was so cute and I’ve been wanting this to happen forever, so better stick through it, right? Then in the middle of making out, he gets this terrible nose bleed and the blood got on me! To make it worse, he tried clogging his nose with toilet paper and wanted to continue hooking up while his nose was still bleeding! Umm, sorry, no thanks!”
-Christina, NYU Class of 2018