After going it alone for the past few months, you may be second-guessing your breakup with your boyfriend before summer began. Obviously, something wasn’t working, and that’s why you broke up. But before going back for Round 2 (or maybe it’s 3 or 4), you may want to ask yourself, why do you want to get back together?
Broken relationships require a lot of work to fix, and in the long run, you may find that too much damage has been done. The allure of an ex is the familiarity and predictability he has to offer, but that’s not a good enough reason to reconcile if he wasn’t good for you and you weren’t happy in the relationship.
Natalie Lue, founder and blogger of “Baggage Reclaim,” a dating and relationship blog, along with tips from Ellie Scarborough and Amy Lynch of Pink Kisses, will help you to figure out if you should move on from your ex.
So stop taping those torn pictures of the two of you back together, and read the eight reasons you should not be getting back together with your ex-boyfriend (because we know how tempting it is).
Reason #1: You’re lonely.
You may miss him terribly, but what do you miss? If all you want is a boyfriend, the ex will have a certain appeal. But don’t love him just because you’re lonely – you need to make sure you miss himand not the idea of having a boyfriend.
“Lonely choices often end up being desperate choices, plus living in the past and missing him is lonely in itself,” Lue says. “Before going back, make sure you’ve made a genuine effort to fill up your life, grieve the loss of the relationship, and move on.”
Reason #2: You like to break up and make up.
Ah, yes – the on-again, off-again relationship. The drama of it all can be anything from exhilarating to exhausting.If your relationship has been a series of breakups and make-ups, you better enjoy life as a human yo-yo because that’s where this is heading. The uncertainty involved in the on-again, off-again relationship is only exciting for so long.
“Don't get things twisted and believe you keep getting back together because you can’t resist each other,” Lue says. “Relationships that keep breaking are unable to progress or have balance and consistency, which makes them unhealthy relationships where true intimacy and commitment cannot happen, and that makes you both emotionally unavailable.”