Tired of having to sort out the “nice guys” from the “bad boys”? Want to move up from one-night stand to full-time girlfriend, but unsure of how to do so? Stop worrying, because Real Live College Guy Dale is here to help with all of your collegiette love kerfuffles and steer you clear of unnecessary boy drama during your brief but ever-important time in college.
There’s a guy I’ve had a few classes with who I’ve always had a small crush on. One semester, though, he got a girlfriend. It was only a small crush, so I didn’t think much of it. I left next semester to study abroad, and we never talked except once. A month before my semester abroad was over, though, I received a Facebook message from him. I didn’t think much of it, until he sent a couple flirty emoticons. I brought up him having a girlfriend, but he said he didn’t have one. In my online Facebook and Twitter stalking that followed, it appeared that he still did. His Facebook wasn’t incriminating, but his Twitter (which I don’t actually have; I found his through Google) makes it look like they are still together. His “ex” still tweets occasionally about him being her boyfriend. I actually like him and would love for something to happen when I return home, but I don’t want to get played. I don’t want to keep flirting with him if he has a girlfriend, but I also don’t want to blow him off and then find out he was telling the truth and she was just having a hard time letting go. Do I believe what I see online, or do I believe what he has told me himself? – Not Wanting To Get Played at Notre Dame
First things first, Notre Dame, unless you’re studying investigative journalism, stop with the social creeping. Any guy who discovers that you’ve been searching through his every status and tweet to find out what he’s up to is going to be irreversibly put off.
But hey, if it looks like he has a girlfriend but he’s telling you he doesn’t, he’s probably lying. Too often, I hear about guys pulling one over on women even though they have significant others just so they can hop in the sack with another girl. Whether you like it or not, it sounds like you are already, in fact, being played.
Sure, his “girlfriend” might just be a crazy ex. Sure, he might be playing you. What it really comes down to is the evidence that you have to consider: Confusing tweets from an “ex”? Suggestive emoticons? It sounds like he’s giving you the run-around, and the last thing you want to do is deal with the guaranteed hassle of becoming “the other woman.”
Look, we’ve all had crushes on people in our classes (I still have a crush on a girl from my freshman philosophy class… is that weird?), but beyond that, these crushes are generally temporary and simply aren’t worth the trouble that seems to be waiting beyond the constraints of your social network super-sleuthing.