Do you ever find yourself shrugging your shoulders and settling on the “boys will be boys” conclusion? Real Live College Guy Andy is here to show you that mature men do (in fact) exist. He has an uncanny ability to sort out the good guys from the bad apples and is here to bring you the best in college love advice.
I’ve been waiting for a guy I’ve been hooking up with to commit for MONTHS now. I’ve been turning down perfectly nice guys, waiting for mine to commit. He’s getting a little better, and I’ve told him how I feel, but I’m a little tired of waiting. I think I’m ready to move on but I’m not sure if he just needs a little more time. – Confused at Cornell
Confused,
Any guy that’s worth dating exclusively wouldn’t be this shut off about committing to you as your boyfriend. You say it’s been months since the two of you started hooking up and that’s more than enough time for him to realize how he feels about you.
Personally, hooking up with the same person for months but not being exclusive would drive me nuts. One girl is always enough for me. And the thought of a girl whom I’m really interested in (and have recently started seeing) also being with other guys makes me angry. Ergo, if I were in your shoes, I wouldn’t be able to tolerate this guy’s unwillingness to be exclusive. I guess you could call me a hopeless romantic. And as one, I think the guy you’ve been waiting for doesn’t deserve you. After seeing each other for a few months, he knows whether or not he likes you enough to make you his girlfriend.
There are only two main reasons for why he has failed to commit at this point. Either he doesn’t see you as relationship material and is simply enjoying what he thinks to be a fling or he does see you as relationship material but wants to keep his options open. If the first reason holds true, then you should cut your losses and move on. If the second is true, then you have to decide how much it hurts you that he wants to remain technically single.
In either case, I would move on. He clearly doesn’t feel the same way about you that you feel about him and that’s just asking to get your feelings hurt. There are far better apples out there than this guy.
They may seem like they’re few and far between but there are plenty of college guys looking for committed relationships. Heck, I’m one of them, and despite the reputation of college guys often being “players”. I truly believe there are more of us out there than you might think.