Real Live College Guy Joey: To-The-Point Answers to 4 New Questions About Sobriety, Freaky Sex Moves & How to Avoid the Walk of Shame

Need polite, concise, pop culture-laden answers to your guy problemas? Our Real Live College Guy Joey (not to be confused with our other Real Live College Guy, Joe) will answer any and all questions about relationships and that ever-elusive beast, the male species, with thoughtfulness and (fingers-crossed) humor.
 
1. I'm hooking up with this guy and stay over with him once or twice a week, but we're not in a relationship.  I'd really like to leave a toothbrush, change of clothes, and makeup there for convenience sake so I don't always have to do the walk of shame, but I'm worried this will freak him out.  What do you think?  How should I go about this?  Should I bring it up and ask him if it's ok, or just leave my stuff there one time?  Or should I just not even try this? 
     -Spending the Night at San Diego State

In my VAST amount of experience… It would probably be best to just bring up the idea without actually asking his approval. You know what I mean? No? Fine. With situations like these, you have to teach your man-beast how he’s supposed to behave by giving him the “option” of saying no without actually allowing him to do so. Regardless of your “relationship” status, if you’re spending the night on a regular basis, then you deserve to have some necessities at his place. A toothbrush, a little (emphasis on the little) makeup and a few pieces of clothing aren’t a huge deal. A few specifics for you, Spending the Night; open with a “Hey! Since I’ve been spending a lot of time here do you think it’d be possible to just throw a few items in a bag and leave them here so I don’t have to stress about hiding my face on the walk home?” Hit him with a nice dose of guilt and an emphasis on the time spent at his place. It’s like a one-two-punch. Should be an easy answer for your man. If, however, you’re too nervous to bring up said conversation, my only advice is to bring an extra-large purse and stuff it full with any early-morning necessities.
 

 
2. I don't drink and am not a partier (not to say that I am boring, I just know how to have fun sober). I find it really hard to find guys who don't drink or at least not get extremely wasted all the time. It seems like they all just want to get drunk and hook up which is not what I'm looking for. Are there guys out there that are not like this—but still know how to have fun? If so, how do I find them?
     -Sober at Syracuse
 
There are certainly guys out there…It’s just going to be one helluva struggle to find them. College is a place where guys are encouraged to act out all of their Will Ferrell-type frat-boy fantasies—think girls rolling in mud, fantasy football leagues, beer pong tourneys and vast amounts of pukage—so if you’re dead-set on finding a dude uninterested in that kind of awesome moronic activity, I’d suggest heading over to college-sponsored events.  Depending on the type of school you attend, events like mixers or school-sponsored concerts, dating auctions, etc. are a good place to find guys who may be just as unenthused with frat parties as you are. There won’t be any alcohol if it’s an undergrad event and the people there will be the ones you’re looking for. Meaning, college coeds that don’t need a Natty Ice for a good time.  If you aren’t interested in your run-of-the-mill college coed, check out local watering holes off campus and alumni events to test the waters wither an older relationship. Now go! Go forth my dear, Sober friend!