Double the Trouble: What to Do When You're Hooking Up With More Than One Guy
Friday, July 1, 2011
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Sex (or lack thereof), relationships (or their twisted, unhealthy counterparts) and anything having to do with love (or other suppressed, romantic feelings) are controversial topics – ones that collegiettes™ will never totally agree upon. And why bother trying to? It’s like attempting to explain the benefits of Facebook or Twitter to your grandmother – pointless.
Nevertheless, we’ve always tried to break it down for you, whether you’ve agreed or not. We’ve demystified vibrators. We’ve helped you deal with betrayal. We’ve clued you in to how guys really feel about those tips you’re getting from Cosmo. And now we’ll delve into yet another of the all-too-common sticky, messy, hotly debated subjects in the realm of love: hooking up with more than one guy.
But, let’s preface this nitty gritty conversation by clarifying the situation. This is not your “first two months of college” phase, mackin’ on a different hottie every weekend. We’re talking two or more guys, consistently, over the same period of time. It seems many college girls have turned – or, perhaps, confused – casual dating with casually hooking up.
See? We told you. It’s sticky and messy, so let’s hotly debate it. Keep reading as we answer the most pressing questions about the topic, on everything from whether there is a double standard in the world of hooking up to the reasons behind why girls are doing it. Plus, transformational dating and relationship coach Lisa Shield shares her insights on these tricky situations.
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About the Author
Biography
Sarah Weinberg is a student at San Diego State University, Class of 2012. She is attempting to overcome her aversion to multitasking as she pursues courses in Liberal Studies, Spanish, and Journalism. Sarah has always been interested in the “behind-the-scenes” aspects of the fashion and lifestyle industry with journalism being a prominent prospective path. Now, much of the time that she should spend working on homework and writing papers is instead spent pouring through magazines and lusting over ridiculously priced shoes, impeccably styled pictorials, and the glamorous lifestyles of the cover models. It isn’t unusual to find Sarah baking (anything with a large amount of chocolate), traveling (last stop: summer abroad in Granada, Spain), playing in her closet (never too old to play dress up), or hanging out with friends and family (how cute and cliché). She is currently a Style Guru for CollegeFashionista.com and is thrilled to become a writer for Her Campus.
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Comments
“Women have a hormone called oxytocin that causes them to bond emotionally with men they are having sex with,” Shield says. “It is almost inevitable that most women will get attached in these situations. It doesn’t work.”
That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. I know plenty of girls who can sleep around and not get attached. Yes, women have oxytocin, but vasopressin — which both men and women have — is a similar hormone that has been related to pair bonding or "bond[ing] emotionally."
This straight up infuriates me.
I think it's pretty irresponsible to be hooking up (at least having sex) with multiple partners and not telling them. Even if you're using condoms, you're putting your partners at risk for STDs.
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