Broke from calling late night love lines for advice? Looking for the lowdown on the hoedown when it comes to college guys? Real Live College Guy Sean is here to help you pick apart the mind of the average college guy. Whether it’s avoiding that awkward weekend hook-up, or full-on relationship advice, Sean is here to save the day!
During the first week of school, a group of my hallmates and I went out to dinner. I spent the night talking with this guy I thought was kind of cute. A girl who lives a few doors down from me asked me later if I would ever consider dating him. I shrugged it off and said, “he’s cute but I’m not really looking.” I guess she took that as “I totally want to marry him” because she went and told him the next day and then told me about it! Now it’s more than a little awkward. Is there any way to let him know that I do not want our relationship to be anything more than platonic? Or should I just let it be? – Apprehensive at Appalachian State
Ah, the first few weeks of college. They can be some of the most exciting times ever. You meet more people than you can remember, drink more beers than you can count, and probably hook up with more people than you’d like to admit. You have every excuse in the world to socialize and do virtually no homework whatsoever (hey, syllabus week is a national holiday right?).
In this case, the girl from your hall probably thought she was doing you a favor by trying to hook you up with someone in your dorm. Unfortunately, this “generosity” yielded an awkward situation, and now you’re left with that weird he-thinks-I-like-him-but-I-don’t position. However, for all you know, he may feel the same way and could be caught in the equally as awkward I-think-she-likes-me-but-I’m-not-sure-what-to-think scenario.
To clear the air, sit him down in a quiet area and explain your side of the story. Tell him exactly what you’ve told me here, that the girl on your floor misunderstood you. Be confident, but be nice. Tell him that you’re simply not looking for anything more than just friendship. For most guys, we hate confusion. Sitting us down and telling us how you feel is much easier than playing a mental guessing game.
Afterwards, don’t act any differently than you ordinarily would. Based on what you’ve told me here, it sounds like he hasn’t made a move yet anyhow, so it doesn’t make much sense to worry about something that hasn’t happened. I guarantee you that his mind will be put to ease by sitting him down and chatting about it. For all you know, this guy may even feel the exact same way about the situation. Things will go back to normal, and you’ll be proud to have successfully diffused an awkward scenario.