You might think you’re one of the few collegiettes who’s still a virgin, but, the fact is, you’re not alone! We know from HC’s Ultimate College Girl Survey that a lot of you (actually, 43% of you) are virgins. You haven’t hit 40-year-old virgin status yet, so stop stressing or thinking you have to lose it to the next guy you meet. You’ve probably wondered how you’d mention to guys that yes, you are a virgin, and even more importantly, how they might react. Will they treat you differently if they find out you’re a virgin? Do they even want to know this personal information about you? Is it even a big deal to them? You can stop guessing, because we’ve gotten inside the minds of 15 college guys to learn how they feel about virgins and whether or not they’d be okay with your V-card status.
So you’re a virgin. What do guys think about this?
The guys we surveyed were all over the map on this one: 25% think it’s a turn-on, 35% think it’s a turn-off, 20% say it depends on the context (whether it’s a one-night-stand versus a more committed relationship), and 20% say they don’t care at all.
They think it’s a turn-on if it’s a relationship
If it’s something more meaningful like the start of a new relationship or a long-term thing, guys consider a girl’s virginity to be a turn-on. “It means she respects her body and the power of sex,” says Matt*, a senior at the University of Michigan. “From a male perspective, it also keeps you from thinking solely about her in a sexual way because you know it's probably not going to end up with that. Also, the thought of knowing that she hasn't been with any guys makes her much more desirable, at least in my mind.”
Even though some guys might be surprised to discover that you’re still holding on to your V-card, most of them think it is very respectable. “She must be waiting for the right person,” says Garret, a senior at the University of Michigan.
They think it’s a turn-off if it’s just a hook-up
The guys agree that virginity is more of a turn-off if they are just looking to hook up with you because they don’t want things to be awkward in the bedroom and they don’t want to go through the trouble of showing you how it’s done. Some guys get freaked out and think that a girl who is a virgin is either super religious or younger than she looks. “I tend to be a little more careful about what I say around her so that I don't offend her,” Matt* says.
It depends on your age
Steve*, a senior at Boston College, says that age is a factor. “Depends on how old she is,” Steve* says. “At a certain age you can't help but find someone who's still a virgin to be a bit strange. Even if they're totally normal, you'll find an explanation for why they are the way they are.”
Are guys going to act differently around you if they know you’re a virgin?
Stop worrying because 80% of the guys we surveyed said they wouldn’t act any differently. “I don’t change my behavior based on a girl’s virginity,” says Luke*, a junior at Penn State University.
What about the other 20% of guys? They say they would change up their approach by not rushing into things too quickly. “If it's something that I'm trying to pursue then I would probably change my language and strategy if you will a bit,” says Sean, a senior at Oakland University.
How do guys feel about dating a virgin?
Most guys (70%) are cool with it. “If I really like her then just being able to date her would be enough because if I like her then it’s important to me to support her choices in life,” says Chris*, a sophomore at Florida State University.
When it comes to dating you, guys care more about you as a person than your sexual past, no matter how much action (or lack of action) it involved. “I would wait until she was ready to do anything. I wouldn't decide not to date her because she's a virgin,” says Mike, a senior at Northeastern University.
Luckily, the guys are excited to explore the non-sex aspects of a relationship with a virgin. “I would actually not mind it at all. Obviously, the girl respects herself and her body, and it means that sex won't be the cornerstone of the relationship,” Matt* says.
On the other hand, 15% of guys are not so keen on the idea and the other 15% say it depends on things like whether or not you are very religious and can’t make decisions for yourself and if you are waiting until marriage (in this case, this 15% would not want to date you). “I feel like it would be a violation of sorts to pursue it,” Sean says.