“Can’t live with them, can’t live without them!” You’ve heard this from ex-lovers and current baes, who still don’t understand that you’re going to rule the world one day—so it might as well revolve around you! Seriously, though, here are a few things SOs need to understand if they’re going to win your heart, if you don’t drive them completely crazy first.
1. You take any small inconvenience as the end of the world.
Because how else are you supposed to deal when the barista doesn’t make your cappuccino as good as the one you had the day before?
2. It is 100 percent necessary that you’re the center of attention at all times.
If you could afford it, you’d pay someone to cast a spotlight on you at all times (except when you sleep because as if).
3. One of your favorite things to do is gossip about other people.
You love the sound of your voice almost as much as you love Beyoncé’s, and nothing is more interesting than having the inside scoop on everyone’s lives.
4. Literally, very little in life brings you more joy than witnessing and reporting on drama.
Cheating scandals, family conflicts, random hookups—oh my!
5. You’re not one to shy from confrontation.
You’ve got one hell of a mouth and mind, and you are not afraid to use them to win an argument.
6. If things don’t go your way, you’re initially confused before you get angry.
Can someone text the universe and tell them that they’re messing up big time? Because something must be off if you’re not getting what you want.
7. Your friends complain that you’re way too picky.
Food, SOs, spots to hang out, clothes…you’re never fully satisfied.
8. You’ve been accused of being “overemotional” so many times it doesn’t even faze you.
Other defining traits include overeating, overthinking and overreacting!
9. It’s nearly impossible for you not to compare your life to others.
The fact that you can’t live like Gossip Girl’s Blair Waldorf is absolutely absurd.
10. Criticizing yourself and other people is practically a hobby at this point.
Because if you or a friend’s legs are too hairy, it deserves to be said before bugs start crawling through them.
11. You make it a point to wear makeup and dress nice, no matter what.
Because life’s way too short to be in public looking like a creature out of Ghostbusters.
12. Social media is your favorite thing in the world because it lets you show off your life and stalk others’.
There’s nothing better than getting the inside scoop while simultaneously getting tons of likes on the selfie you just posted.
13. The thought of apologizing for a mistake you made is actually unheard of.
Excuse you while you flip your hair and walk away from such a crazy notion. Bye.
14. Your friends will constantly joke that you invented the phrase “misery loves company.”
No, misery just needs people to bitch about dating with while eating massive amounts of Chinese food and chocolate in one sitting.
15. It’s a given that you’ll probably fall in “like” with someone every other week.
Not your fault that the world is full of hot, interesting people that happen to obsess over Stranger Things as much as you do.
16. Hearing “It’s not a big deal” is something you get often…and it literally drives you insane.
You have a pimple on your chin! How does that not warrant pity or offering a special cave for you to hide in?
17. As crazy as you get, your friends and family agree that there’s never a dull moment with you.
Because being boring is so not your style.