Need polite, concise, pop culture-laden answers to your guy problemas? Our Real Live College Guy Joey (not to be confused with our other Real Live College Guy, Joe) will answer any and all questions about relationships and that ever-elusive beast, the male species, with thoughtfulness and (fingers-crossed) humor.
1. What are some signs that a guy is only interested in a hookup?
-Interested at Iowa
There are two simple guidelines when distinguishing between a “DTF” text and an “I’m interested in more than a low-down roll in the hay” message. Primarily, keep a lookout for the timing of said text messages. Men looking for a quick lay are likely to time those concise, brief, innuendo-laden texts for late at night. Secondly, as aforementioned, texts from guys looking solely for a “hook-up” will keep their messages brief and to the point. Some little gems can go the way of “Hey, wat r u up 2 l8r 2night?” (Unless they’re writing majors…) or “We shud chill wen we’re bak on campus.” If any guy is going along the opposite route, a la texts/phone calls while Edward Cullen is fast asleep in bed (daytime) and seems genuinely interested in your day-to-day activities, rest assured that he wants more than a quick lay. As far as non-textual ways to spot guys solely interested in a hookup, be wary of any random acquaintance you encounter at weekend parties. If you meet someone you’re genuinely interested in, avoid going home with him at the end of the night. Rather, give him your number and use the tried-and-true, “I’m really tired” excuse to see him during daylight hours instead.
2. Many of these questions are about getting guys to commit, but what if I want the opposite. I mean, I'm in college and don't really have time to date and would rather just a hook up every so often. How do you let a guy know, without sounding desperate or slutty, that hey, can we just be a FWB-kind-of-thing...?
-Just wanna have fun at James Madison
For the commitment-wary coed, or the just-too-busy-to-commit lass like yourself, a friendship with all the benefits of a relationship (or, FWB) is usually a free and easy way to get by during the stress of these college years we’ve found ourselves in. Take a cue from Miss Nat Portman’s mistake in No Strings Attached (solid movie, she makes douche-lord Kutcher LIKEABLE) though, and avoid too many rules or logistics. A friends-with-benefits type of deal shouldn’t be stressful. Honesty and clarity is key in this type of a scenario. You’re clearly no whimpering recluse, so be upfront with any guy lucky enough to score this arrangement. Make it clear what you want out of the pseudo-relationship and things should move along swimmingly, regardless of what the PTA-run Hollywood machine has decided to tell us (Every single FWB movie ends up with… blegh, emotions). Lay your cards on the table; open dialogue isn’t your enemy. Your (justified) concern of looking slightly slut-o-saurus should be assuaged by sheer honesty. By explaining that the addition of a relationship to your school and social commitments just isn’t a possibility in your current situation, you could never be faulted for being “slutty.”