Trying to reel a guy in can be much like the sport of fishing itself – you wait patiently, do what you’re supposed to do (look pretty and engage in conversation), pray that he takes the bait, and when he does, try not to get so excited that you scare him away. It’s questionable whether or not fishing is actually a sport, but for our sake, we can say that fishing for guys is. We’ve made a game of it, and because there isn’t exactly a rulebook, there are a variety of ways to get a guy’s attention. For most of us, we rely on the tried-and-true techniques of looking hot and being outgoing and charming. But if you watch MTV for a while – specifically Jersey Shore, The Real World, A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila, Next, etc. (the list goes on and on…), you’ll learn that there are girls who get guys’ attention using antics that are really weird or just plain stupid.
Because the attention-grabbing techniques that Sammi Sweetheart and Snooki use always seem to involve someone getting knocked out or soaked in vodka-soda, Her Campus is here to set the record straight. As you set out on your search for the perfect guy and a perfect relationship to follow, keep in mind that no self-respecting collegiette™should do the following in order to appeal to a certain guy (unless he’s an Italian-gorilla-juicehead-type)…
Hook up with another guy to get his attention.
You know, it’s the “I’m going to make out with Aaron because he’s really hot, and then maybe Johnny will see that other guys think I’m desirable”-attitude that just kind of backfires. If you’re macking it with one guy, don’t be fooled into thinking that will make another guy want to swoop in. Her Campus Real Live College Guy Ryan says, “I salute her ballsy guy-catching nature, but if she's willing to play one random guy just to catch the attention of another, I'm going to question her character.” These attention-demanding hookups only make guys hesitant to get involved with you – sure, they show that you’re hot and you’re wanted, but if Johnny is the one that holds your interest, make sure it’s him you pursue, and not his frat brother Aaron.
Try too hard to be a “bro.”
A girl who is able to have a beer, watch football and lounge around in sweats is appealing to guys, but only to a certain extent. It’s when you start picking up the “bro” lingo (e.g., “Sweet, dude. Awesome, man. Yeah dude she’s so hot, go for it, man. I’d hit that”…etc.), and habits (being comfortable burping/farting in front of them) that it starts to get a little weird. Kyle, a junior at Boston College, has one thing to say about a bro-ed out babe: “You’re a girl, act like one.” Remember, he likes you because you’re not a guy.
Wear revealing clothes.
We’ve all seen it (if not at our own campus bars/clubs, then at “Karma”): shirt down to here, skirt up to there, shoes too high to walk in, and maybe a little back/midriff showing. This ensemble screams LOOK AT ME! to guys, but to Ryan, “not in a ‘I want to start a relationship with you’ kind of way.” It really is okay to leave a little to the imagination sometimes (fine, Halloween is the only exception), or you risk being mistaken for actually…
…being a sl*t.
“It ruins the game,” says Kyle. Believe it or not, when it comes to the “chase,” guys enjoy putting in a little bit of effort. It makes the reward that much better, especially if he’s really into you. Sleeping around or going too far on the first night won’t get you too many honorable mentions (especially if you start making your way through entire frats or groups of friends), and it certainly won’t help you land a long-term boyfriend.
Having fun is one thing, but being a sloppy mess on the dance floor is another. Imagine his frustration as he tries to get you to dance with him, when all you can do is shake your head belligerently or teeter back and forth in your stiletto heels. It’s okay to drink, but “composed is key,” notes Kyle. A bit of a buzz can be helpful when dealing with a cute guy, but know your limits, and don’t act like an idiot by reaching the point where you’re stumbling down the boardwalk stairs and face-first into the sand.
No one wants to talk to someone who’s totally clueless or ridiculously boring. The “dumb” façade is as annoying to guys as it can be to girls. If you’re smart, embrace it. If you’re a little nerdy at heart, show him that side of you. Whether he’s into it or not, he’ll be experiencing the real you – not the one that’s, “like, OMG, like I get sooooo silly when I’m drunk, [giggles incessantly] and I start to, like, um…forget things!!!!!!!! Wait – where’s my phone?!?!?!?”
Be presumptuous about the status of your relationship.
Being open with him and talking about a potential relationship is one thing, but hooking up with him one night and waking up the next morning assuming you’re BF/GF is a little different. To Ryan, inquiring means you’re interested: “If she's curious enough to ask whether I'm single or not, she's usually inquiring about whether she should go further with her flirting. I'm all for it.” But just assuming that a hardcore relationship is in sight is likely to freak him out and chase him away. Guess you’ll have to wait a few more days to change your Facebook status…