It happens to the best of us: you meet a guy at a party, have a sloppy make-out session with him, and suddenly, the rest is history, disappearing into the foggy blur of a Thursday night. But just what does this seemingly random guy think of your DFMO? Would he ever be willing to turn your drunken hook-up into a real-life-relationship? So many questions… so little time. But that’s when HC steps in—we’ve gotten inside the minds of 10 college guys (surprisingly, not filled with as much sports and beer as you’d think) to see what they think of your scandalous escapades.
What does he think when you hook up the night you first meet?
The verdict is in and it’s not exactly surprising: we all have raging hormones. And with stress building up between exams, papers, and the ever-constant internship hunt, we can’t help but let loose sometimes. So believe it or not, guys actually seem to get that and can totally relate when we just want a casual make-out sesh (or something more, wink wink)—they’re definitely not complaining!
“I typically think she wants something more, and not that she’s easy but that we both want the same thing: sex” – James*, Merrimack College
“As a senior in college, I’ve definitely had my fair share of random hook-ups, but I don’t think much of it. We’re both drunk and looking for a good time. We’re young and fun. Who cares what happens the next morning?” – Chris*, University of Miami
“I don’t go out actively looking for a girl to make out with, but if I start dancing with a girl and things heat up, I’ll definitely go in for it. I don’t believe in double standards and I wouldn’t call her easy. She’s just having fun like I am.” – Jack*, University of Southern California
“[She’s usually] not as attractive as the night I met her. I probably was more drunk than I remember.” – Jimmic*, Copenhagen School of Business
“It’s understandable that they might want to just have fun for a night. I don’t think there should be a double standard based on gender.” – Alec*, University of Pittsburgh
“They’re a little sl*tty, but maybe they just needed to have some fun that night. They don’t get put in the sl*t category unless I see or hear about them being just as easy with another guy.” – Alex*, Emory University
So, what happens once you go back to his place?
If he takes you back to his place, are you likely to just lay in bed, cuddling, and discussing your horrible history professor? Well, not exactly…
According to the guys we spoke to, if you go back with him, you’re most likely to be doing a whole lot more than just making out: 70 percent of guys said they’ve had sex with the girls they brought home from the club or bar that night. As for the remaining 30 percent? They did everything but. So no matter the case, these college guys definitely didn’t keep their nights PG… or even PG-13. Going home with a guy generally means you’re in for more than just some simple kisses and back massages at least in his mind.
But a little advice: “It’s really situational. You’re not a sl*t for sleeping with a guy, it’s what you do after and how you act about it. Sex is natural. Bragging and flaunting your sex life for the world is not.” – James.
So collegiettes, be sure not to kiss and tell.
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Is giving it up right away a turn-off? How soon does he think you should wait before sleeping with him?
Time and again we obsess over when we should have sex: if I wait, he’ll think I’m not interested but if I jump into bed too soon, he’ll think I’m easy and get bored with no chase. So what’s a girl to do? Do guys think about the timing of sex in a relationship as much as we do? For some, it means a lot—sex can be a huge deal in a relationship. But at the same time, if it’s just a hook-up, he may not think too much of it—unfortunately, you just become another notch in the belt that he won’t think about again once you slip out of his bed the next morning.
“Everyone is different. Personally, until they are proof positive that the guy is the right one, someone they see a possible future with, definitely not on the first date.” – CC*, UC Riverside.
“I think depending on their personal values, they should be able to choose when they have sex, time frame isn’t important.” – Alec
“It really depends. If it’s a Friday night on the dance floor, go ahead. If it’s a first date but there’s clearly sexual tension, go ahead. If you like him and it’s just pure innocent when you talk or meet, don’t give it up or force it.” – James
“I’m obviously not going to pressure any girl into sleeping with me, but if she comes home with me after a random hook-up, I’m not really expecting her to just want to chill out on my couch. But like I said, if it was after a random hook-up on the dance floor, I’m not expecting a lot out of her afterward. I’m not looking for anything serious and I let her know that before anything happens and it’s her decision on what she feels comfortable doing after that. But come the next morning, when I sober up, I’m not looking for her to stay and make me breakfast while we hang out. Unless we seriously hit it off, I’d probably just want her to leave.” – Tom*, University of Wisconson-Madison
Would he ever date someone he hooked up with the night they met?
Looking for something serious? We all love a great hook-up, but deep down a lot of us crave companionship and secretly hope our fling turns into a relationship, something to put time and energy into, something to love. So that being said, can a random one-night fling turn into the real thing? From what our guys say, it seems like that may be true. But it also depends on what he’s looking to get out of that night.
“If we talk some more the night we hook up and she seems like a nice, cool person, I’d be willing to get to know her more. I would definitely exchange numbers with her and see what comes of it. I wouldn’t have any inhibitions towards dating her.” – Dan*, Wake Forest University
“Yes, absolutely, if things went well afterward and that’s what I was looking for. I don’t lose total respect for her.” – James
“I think it depends on how I’m feeling. Some days I do want a girlfriend and wish I had someone I could rely on like that. But, I hate to admit it, but a lot of the time I’m happy to be single and enjoying myself. So I would have to say that it really depends on when she catches me and how much we hit it off. I think you can’t be searching for a girlfriend, that the right one will just come into the picture one day that will make you want to settle down. If she happens to be a girl I thought I was just randomly hooking up with one night, then so be it.” – Chris
“Depends largely on if I knew her already and how far we went. If I just met the girl and made out on the dance floor without talking that much, or had sex the first night I met her, she’s pretty easy. That doesn’t necessarily mean I wouldn’t want to date her, but it makes a serious relationship less likely.” – Alex
“At the time, I don’t think much about it—it’s just a hook-up, nothing more. Afterwards, when I’m thinking about it more, I’ll ask myself if I would want it to happen again. If I could see it working out or I want to get to know her more, I’ll make some moves, talk to her more, and see what happens from there. I’m not opposed to the idea of it.” – Brad*, University of Michigan
So there you have it, collegiettes: a peek inside the not-so wild and crazy minds of your man (to-maybe-be). Just remember, don’t do anything you’re uncomfortable with to impress or please him. Use these tips as a guide to what he’s thinking when you hook up, but keep in mind that it should always be about what you want.
*Names have been changed