You wake up in an unknown bed wearing last night’s clothes—or worse, wearing nothing at all. You turn to your side and see the body of a guy you might have just met the night before (sadly, he’s not as cute as he looked via your drunk goggles). Your mouth is dry, your eyes are burning, and your head is pounding—you’d do anything for a tall glass of water, a pair of comfy pjs, and a ride home. But chances are, the dreaded walk of shame stands between you and all those things. You’re not alone, we’ve all been there. Read on to hear about other collegiettes’ crazy, funny, or just plain weird walks of shame.
From sequin minis to clown costumes, we always seem to be wearing outfits that were not intended for wearing in broad daylight.
“My best walk of shame was after an 80's party. I had to walk halfway across campus in the morning in zebra print leggings and a pink tube top, carrying my heels. It was snowing and I walked by three tours.” - Sarah, a junior at Michigan State University
"So this didn’t happen to me, but I witnessed it. Freshman year my room had the perfect view of all the other freshman dorms. One Sunday around lunchtime, I happened to glance out the window. It was pouring outside, like bad New England style with puddles everywhere. Then I noticed this girl walking to the dorm directly in front of mine. She had a black mini skirt on, one heel (the other was in her hand), and a glittery tank-top. Her hair had probably been in a clean stylish up-do the night before, but it looked like she hadn't brushed her hair in 3 days. She had a purse in the other hand and I'm pretty sure her skirt was twisted sideways. The poor girl was trampling home in the rain, midday. The humiliation! I guarantee I was not the only person watching.” - Marion, a junior at Boston College
“I went to a Halloween party dressed like a sexy clown, partied a little too hard, and slept over my boyfriend at the time's dorm room. Needless to say, I had to do the walk of shame with a smeared red nose, striped socks, a super short polka dot dress and heels in hand. Not my proudest moment!” - Claire, a sophomore at Penn State University
”During my freshman year (obviously, my most shameful year in terms of hook-ups), for some reason I would only ever have to do the walk-of-shame when it was either raining or after a themed costume party. This being said, my worst walk-of-shame ever was the ever-feared November 1st: the morning after Halloween. I had gone out as a not-so-innocent Alice in Wonderland, and regretfully made the decision to stay the night at my current hook-up's dorm. The next morning, not only was it freezing outside, but it was also pouring down rain, thus leaving me no choice. Yes, I borrowed my hook-up's rain-coat which, as you can imagine, was longer than my costume, forcing me to traipse across campus seemingly naked to onlookers.” - Chloe, a junior at New York University
“It was the weekend before my birthday and my friends and I were out celebrating at a club. I ended up going home with a guy and begged him for a ride home in the morning when I realized how far away his place was from mine. He said no so I began my birthday walk of shame with a tiara in hand. Halfway back to my place, I ran into a girl who was wearing an oversized men’s tee and carrying her high heels. I laughed, smiled, and said “good, you too.” We instantly bonded. I was happy to hear she didn’t even think I was on a walk of shame. This poor girl was so embarrassed and ashamed but I think I helped ease her nerves by chatting about our nights, our majors, and life in general. Lucky for her she only had to walk about a block, I on the other hand, had to walk all the way across campus. I almost wore my birthday tiara from the night before just to spice things up a bit. Imagine the stares I would have gotten!” - Megan, a junior at the University of Southern California
Humiliation Saving Tip #1: Bring a change of clothes if you think you’re going to spend the night out.
If you don’t plan these things (most of us don’t), ask the guy if you can borrow a pair of sweats. At the very least, wash the smeared makeup off your face and tame the wild post-hook-up hair.
Things get real awkward when we run into our professors, ex-boyfriends, siblings, former hook-ups or innocent church-goers on our infamous walks home.
“Walking to my car from my hook-up's room, I ran into my professor walking his dog on campus the day after Halloween. I was still in a miniskirt... it was snowing. He said, ‘you're a little bit underdressed.’” - Michelle, a sophomore at Central Michigan University
“I was coming back from my boyfriend's apartment at 7:45 one morning so I could shower and change before class. I looked like a complete mess (unbrushed hair, smudged makeup, heels, the whole nine yards), so I hoped I wouldn't see anyone I knew on the way back. I swiped into my building and took the elevator up to my floor, thankful I hadn't seen anyone I knew, when the elevator doors opened and a former hook-up walked in! We had ended on very, very bad terms - he lied to me, I lost my virginity to him, he stopped talking to me entirely, and I had a false alarm pregnancy scare... and did I mention he lives across the hall from me? - and he definitely knew why I was coming back to the dorm so early. Talk about awkward!” - Lauren, a freshman at Arizona State University
“I was visiting my friends at a nearby college when my best friend informed me the guy I had a huge crush on (who went to my college) was also visiting his friends at the other college. While we were out partying, we decided to go to the house he was staying at, but unfortunately he was still at the bar. The guys veered me in the direction of another guy and before I knew it I was in bed with the new guy. The next morning, I woke up and walked downstairs to find the guy I was supposed to hook up with sitting on the couch eating cereal. We both knew each other existed but had never been formally introduced before. I said, ‘nice jersey’ and quickly walked out of the house followed by the guy who I had hooked up with the night before. Luckily he drove me back to my friend’s apartment. I’m still mad at myself for missing out on hooking up with my crush.” - Christina, a junior at Western Michigan University
“The summer after freshman year, I developed a crush on a really close guy friend. I told him how I felt, but apparently I was too late... he said he had previously had feelings for me, but was currently dating my friend's horrible roommate who absolutely hated me. Needless to say, it got messy (I'm not sure who lets me have a cell phone when I drink... but that's another story). After all that drama, I ran into another guy at a party that I had seen out before and thought was adorable. We started talking, hung out all night, and I ended up going home with him. I woke up super early so that I could walk back to my apartment without having to endure any awkward encounters with people on their way to class, but man I wish I would have waited. I walked out the door (in my dress and heels, tights in hand, and morning-after makeup and hair) and came face-to-face with my freshman year crush. I mumbled "Hey," and ran by, but man, was that awkward! I was not expecting to see anyone, let alone him. He didn't even live in that apartment complex! Needless to say, after that we really never talked again. He was really conservative, and since it was pretty obvious where I was coming from, that turned him off completely. Whoops! I still laugh about it every time I think about it.” - Kaille, a junior at Purdue University
“Nothing like walking out of the guy's room you hooked up with last night, just to see a guy you used to hook up with sitting on the couch staring you down. It’s a small world after all.” - Rachel, a junior at the University of Michigan
