First dates have loads of potential to be either rewarding… or disastrous. It takes a confident collegiette to make this first step forward into being in a relationship! Some would say that the benefits of going on a first date aren’t worth the potential risks: awkwardness, incompatibility, or extreme nervousness. However, taking the plunge and going on that date is definitely HC-approved. It may not go as swimmingly as you like, but you won’t have to live with regret and always be wondering, ‘What would’ve happened if I went out with that guy?’
Despite the possible gains, one of the major date deterrents for collegiettes remains the fear of the Bad Date. The Bad Date nearly always has an uncomfortable ending, as these collegiettes will attest:
“Bad dates are awkward all the time, but the endings are the worst, especially if he drove and is dropping you off at your house. I just cross my fingers and get out of the car and into my door ASAP so he doesn’t try and make a move!” – Briana, junior, University of Missouri-Kansas City
“At the end of a date there’s always the inevitable, ‘So, will we see each other again?’ question hanging in the air. If the date sucked, then it is so awkward to know in the back of your head that you don’t want to pursue anything else with him.” – Emily, senior, DePaul University
No doubt, a bad first date beginning makes for a less than pleasant bad first date ending. Luckily, it is possible to make your thoughts on the date and on your future – or lack thereof – with the guy clear without coming across as a mean girl or completely crushing his heart. And it’s important to remember that although ending the date is initially awkward, it WILL have an end and tomorrow will be the start of a new day (a day when you don’t have to redo your date).
But to make it easier before you get to the point when you’ve said your goodbyes, Her Campus has 6 ways for you to make the exit of your bad first date smooth without seeming stone cold!
During the Date
Yes, the key to a graceful exit begins before you reach your doorstep. If you follow your intuition, you will most likely realize that the date isn’t going well pretty quickly. Conversation will feel forced. You’ll be noticing some red flags. You’ll find yourself disagreeing with a lot of things the guy is saying. In general, you will just feel some unease as opposed to some spark. To have an un-dramatic exit from this situation, you can’t lead him on!
1. Keep Some Things To Yourself
To explain simply, don’t over-share or open up more than you would to a casual acquaintance. If you sense the date isn’t going well, don’t bring up intense things about your past or talk about all of your hopes and dreams for the future. Here’s why:
- When you don’t want to go on a second date, he will just be confused. Why did you seem so comfortable talking about emotional topics if you weren’t connecting on a special level?
- If he does take the fact that you’re not interested in a second date harshly, he will have loads of personal information about you to use against you. He may try to take something you say and twist it into a nasty rumor! (Which would be more proof that he wasn’t worth your time…)