Admit it, ladies—we all have our fair share of secrets we keep private from the guys in our lives: the record number of pizza slices we’ve wolfed down in one sitting, how often we actually wash our bed sheets, our obsession with Joseph Gordon-Levitt… you get the idea. But do you ever stop to think about the kind of secrets guys could be keeping from you? Lucky for you, Her Campus talked to seven real college guys to find out what sort of things guys tend to keep from their girlfriends as well as their girl (space!) friends. Here are just a few of the things that guys could be hiding from you.
1. “I mean, your mom’s cooking isn’t terrible, but…”
Your best friend may drive you crazy at times and you may realize that your mom is a little overbearing, but would guys ever say it to you?
“One thing I would never tell a girl is how annoying her friends are,” says Eric, a senior from Marist College. “Like, even if I can’t stand them. It’s one of those things you just have to put up with.”
Syracuse University graduate Rich* agreed that family was another untouchable subject. “I once told an ex that her dad made me really nervous whenever I was over [at] her house,” he says. “She took it really personally, which was weird, since she was always saying herself that her dad loves to intimidate her and her sister’s boyfriends.”
Our guys agreed that their friends and family aren’t something they’d want you commenting on, so it’s for the best that they avoid talking unfavorably about yours as well. “It’d be such a turnoff if a girl said something critical about my parents or friends,” says Jordan*, a junior from Temple University. “So why would I ever want to say something bad about hers?”
2. “Is your outfit supposed to match, or is that the look you’re going for?”
We’ve all taken risks when it comes to our clothing and hair—and have probably baffled a few guys along the way—but what do guys think about our stylistic choices?
“I’m the first to admit I know nothing about clothes or fashion or whatever, and that’s why I never comment on a girl’s outfit, even if she’s wearing something that I think is completely ugly, because for all I know it’s considered really fashionable,” Eric says.
Though Jake, a recent grad of Boston University, doesn’t care about style so much as fit, he still agrees that clothing choices are something that he shouldn’t comment on. “When I see a girl wearing something really unflattering, especially one of my friends, it can be hard to hold my tongue,” he says. “But I’ve made the mistake of saying something before, and let me tell you, it doesn’t go over well. Girls don’t like to think of guys knowing what looks better on them than they know themselves.”
Quinnipiac University senior Greg has learned that a girl’s style is a subject he should just avoid altogether. “I once asked one of my girl friends why she had decided to dye her hair so dark,” he says. “I hadn’t even really meant it as criticism, but she didn’t exactly see it that way.”
3. “Okay, I’ll admit it: I love watching The Bachelorette just as much as you do.”
How many movies have made your guy cry? According to our sources, that’s for them to know and you to never find out!
Eric explains that if a hobby or preference feels embarrassing, it probably is, and therefore probably should never be revealed to a member of the fairer sex. “My rule of thumb is that if I wouldn’t tell my friends about it, I shouldn’t tell a girl,” he says.
As Boston College grad Zach* says, “Do I like cocktails? Yes. Would I ever order one in a bar in front of a girl? No.”
University of Southern California grad Trent* says that he once told a girl about his habit of Googling cute animal pics when he’s bored in class. “I was hoping she would think I was sensitive and sweet,” he says. “Instead, I think I just managed to weird her out.”
Greg agrees that certain dirty little secrets should remain secret. “A girl might like the idea of her boyfriend watching The Notebook with her, but once he admits that he actually likes it, sh*t just gets weird,” he says.
4. “Yikes. You weren’t kidding when you said you had an awful singing voice.”
Yes, we may have our little insecurities, but our guy would never dare bring them up to us… right?
“Teasing a girl about something you already know she feels insecure about is, like, the worst mistake you can make,” Jake says. “She may tell you that she’s a terrible cook, but you better compliment her cooking anyway, even if it’s really bad.”
Greg found that even jokes that poke fun at collegiettes could end badly. “I joked around with one of my friends once when she took off her shoes, saying that her feet were totally stinking up the room,” he says. “To say that she didn’t take it well would be an understatement.”
Eric ran into similar trouble when he critiqued his girl friend’s driving ability. “Girls can be really touchy,” he says.
Rich says that he does his best to avoid making a girl feel insecure in any capacity. “There’s certain things you say to a girl and certain things you don’t,” he says. “Commenting on the amount of food she eats, how sweaty she gets when she works out, the number of guys she’s been with… you just don’t go there.”
5. “Be honest: Do you think I’ve put on weight?”
Believe it or not, guys fret about their complexions and their waistlines just as much as us girls. But would they ever admit that to you?
“It doesn’t matter if you think you’re too short or too scrawny or that your shirt doesn’t match your pants or whatever, you should never look to a girl for reassurance,” says Zach. “Because then, that girl will start to think to herself, ‘Yeah, he is kind of short.’”
6. “That’s totally something my ex-girlfriend would have said.”
Your guy might have had a relationship or two in the past, but does he know better than to bring them up around you?
Eric says if there’s one thing he’ll never discuss with a girl, it’s an ex. “Even with my platonic relationships it’s something I don’t bring up or talk about,” he explains. “Girls are jealous creatures and they always get weird about that stuff; it’s best just to avoid the topic all together.”
Says Rich, “I had a girlfriend that always wanted to know about my ex. Like, did you ever take her to this restaurant? Or, did you ever buy her a necklace like this? And whenever I answered honestly, it just seemed to get me into trouble. Eventually, I just started avoiding the questions… or lying.”
Jordan agrees about not bringing up an ex. “Girls are always competing against one another and comparing themselves to one another, so it’s natural that they would do so with a guy’s ex-girlfriends,” he says. “But it gets annoying, too. So the less I can make that happen by not saying anything about an ex, the better.”
7. “I had this really hot dream last night about my high school geometry teacher…”
Some things are better left behind closed doors… or in a guy’s head. We all know that guys spend many an hour immersed in some wild fantasy, but would they rather we not know what those fantasies entail?
Trent believes that what happens in a guy’s head should stay in a guy’s head. “The chance that I would tell my girlfriend I had a dream the night before about the really hot girl that lives down the hall from me? Absolutely zero,” he says.
And when it comes to visual aids, Jordan also thinks its best that a girl remains in the dark. “The amount of pornography that I consume—I’m not saying that it’s a lot, I’m just saying—is definitely not something that any girl needs to know,” he says.
As Zach explains, “Guys are pretty gross. We are horny, visual creatures. So there are certain things that girls are better off never knowing about us guys, whether they think they want to know or not.”
Next time you think your guy may be keeping something from you, collegiettes, just remind yourself: it may just be for the best!
*Names have been changed.