1. Because someone needs to apply sunscreen to that impossible spot in the middle of your back, and sacrificing UV protection would be irresponsible.
2. Because you just drank a pitcher of citrus sangria at a junior high reunion barbecue and you really need a designated driver right now.
3. Because the idea of a solo picnic is sad enough to make you want to smother yourself in that red and white checkered blanket.
4. Because someone needs to appreciate all of that tanning you’ve been up to lately.
5. Because someone also needs to ridicule the tan lines you have acquired with all that tanning you’ve been up to lately—(seriously, why is there nowhere to lay around naked in the suburbs?).
6. Because when you’re feeling insignificant while watching the stars, you need someone else laying beside you who thinks you’re the most extraordinary thing in the entire universe… (Does this sound like the premise of every teen movie you’ve ever watched?)
7. Because hi-oh, you just won free tickets to Bonnaroo, and you will not be taking your little sister.
8. Because when you get to Bonnaroo, you’re going to need some good ol’ broad shoulders to sit and rave upon in the crowds at Skrillex.
9. Because an in-car GPS system would have cost twice the price of that ’89 stick-shift Cavalier you’re driving around this summer, and you need a real person road-trip navigator if you’re going to make it past the town limits.
10. Because boys are hot.
11. Because you’re hot, and the boys need to know.
12. Because you need someone to cry to about your stressful internship at the White House.
13. Because you need someone to cry to about your depress-o dishwashing gig at the International House of Pancakes.
14. Because your study abroad timeline photo from months ago is getting a little tired; what better way to replace it than with a selfie of you and some hottie-tottie in his-and-hers Ray Ban wayfarers?
15. Because much like the title of N*Sync’s second studio album, there are simply No Strings Attached.
16. Because all the most beautiful flowers blossom in summer, and sure, buying yourself a bouquet is all “independent woman” and whatever, but how much better would it be to get surprised with one with a card attached?
17. Because the drive-in movie theater is only open until September, and you’ve been chasing that fiery Sandy and Danny romance since you first saw Grease back in ’98.
18. Because your last tennis partner rolled his ankle, and you need a replacement before your backhand gets limp.
19. Because the frizzy beast your hair becomes once the humidity hits is not going to lovingly run fingers through itself.
20. Because someone needs to make a bonfire, stat, before your s’more craving starts spiraling into something ugly.
21. Because unlike most twenty-year-olds, you never stopped loving the teeter-totter.
22. Because a perfectly worn, slightly oversized, borrowed, black leather jacket is just the item that will pull this outfit together on an unexpectedly cool summer evening
23. Because you’ve always wanted to try tandem bicycling. Mostly you’ve just always wanted to be one half of those cheesy-but-adorbs couples who use tandem bicycles.
24. Because you were just having a wonderful tandem bike ride when you fell off the back and skinned your knees, elbows, chin, and palms. You’re going to need band-aids. And someone to bandage you.
25. Because who else is going to sing “Summer Lovin’” with you at karaoke night? (The Grease dream never dies!)
26. Because the party you were at just got busted and you really need to hop this chain-link fence but you seriously have no hope without a brawny start-up boost.
27. Because you were just casually tree-climbing when you got to this branch and decided to glance down and oh-my-god-when-did-it-get-so-far-away and this really isn’t funny and can someone please come get you down now?!
28. Because you’re still on the rebound from your recent spring fling.
29. Because they’re offering free salsa lessons in the square, and unless you bring your own partner, you will get paired off with that single-and-ready-to-mingle middle-aged divorcé who heard that women go wild around a man who can dance.
30. Because who else will challenge your two-years-running watermelon seed-spitting record? (Five meters! Boo-yah.)
31. Because there is just no way you can finish this quintuple-scoop ice cream sundae on your own. Okay, you could, but then you’d kind of hate yourself.
32. Because you don’t know how to light the barbecue… and all your friends are coming over for a barbecue. Sh*t.
33. Because you’re tired of pumping your legs, so now you need someone to give you a push on the hammock/swing.
34. Because he is a lifeguard.
35. Because he has a boat.
36. Because he is a lifeguard on a boat.
37. Because clearly one brain is not cutting it on the New York Times Saturday morning crossword you’ve been working on for two weeks. Okay, it’s been three weeks. And four days.
38. Because if you’re going to have to shave your legs every other day while it’s short-shorts season, their touchable goddess silkiness better be the subject of someone’s immense appreciation.
39. Because you’ve been spending way too much time on Facebook and it’s not okay anymore now that you don’t have homework to put off by stalking the photos of your crush and his girlfriend… Not that you do that, or anything.
40. Because shirtless men are shirtless? And you want one of your own?
41. Because you are kind of getting despy for a date to all those upcoming July weddings you have to attend. Real despy. Debra-Messing-in-The Wedding Date despy.
42. Because when you kiss outdoors, you won’t have a couple of parkas, circle scarves, and ski mitts separating your love from reaching full realization.
43. Because since you first saw the “Teenage Dream” music video years ago, you’ve been waiting for the day you could Katy Perry the hell out of a convertible, a highway, and a gorgeous man in aviators. This summer, it is time.
44. Because nary a Taylor Swift song comes to a close without at least brief mention of kissing on a front porch. You want in. Whose front porch is irrelevant. Just a) find a front porch, and b) kiss on it.
45. Because you tried to set up a tent alone once. How did that go for you, girl? Exactly.
46. Because with the amount of time you intend to spend in lakes, pools, oceans, and rivers this summer, you need a merman to balance your bona fide mermaid status – the Eric to your Ariel, if you will. #disneyforever
47. Because you did not just spend six hours on a summer love playlist on iTunes to listen to John Legend’s “All of Me” alone on repeat one more time.
48. Because you need to find someone in the next two seconds to return the Frisbee you just attempted to pass. You! Over there in the green button-down! Catch, baby!
49. Because summer love is the most epic kind. You know it is.
50. Because you never really needed any convincing, did you?