We’ve all heard the stories of college romance turned lifetime of happiness. So how were we to know that’s not ~always~ the case? We’ll admit we suffered from denial for quite some time, but we’re using our experience to educate others who have zero chance of finding their soulmates in college. Below are the 13 stages of accepting that there are just no good love interests at your school.
1. You arrive at school as a naïve freshman and find a seemingly endless amount of cuties strolling around campus.
“Oh my gosh, I can’t wait to tell my grandchildren that this is how it all began.”
2. All of your friends are in adorable relationships, so you think it can happen to you, too.
Looking back, the fact that all their SOs went to different colleges than you should’ve been a red flag.
3. And even better—you end up sitting next to the same cute guy in class every day.
*pictures him in a tux atop three tiers of glistening fondant*
4. After a couple of weeks, you finally get his number and you’re beyond excited.
You even begin to wonder what you’d name your children (hypenated last name, of course; if he doesn’t agree with you on that he never really loved you at all, right?).
5. But it turns out that his idea of a date is a lackluster dining hall meal followed by an offer to Netflix and Chill.
“Um, no. If I wanted to be watching One Tree Hill in bed right now, I’d obvi be doing that alone.”
6. On top of that, you realize it’s all air inside that pretty head.
“Like, that personality is not gonna win you any trophies, dude. So you better hope your looks don’t fade.”
7. But you try not to discourage yourself since there are plenty of fish in the sea…right?
This is the only time you’ve ever cared about the male to female student ratio at your school.
8. You convince yourself that if you go out to parties you’ll find “the one.”
Because that’s how the Disney princesses did it.
9. But you quickly realize that all these guys want are hookups.
“Sorry, what now? You don’t want to build me a white house with blue shutters?”
10. That’s when you really start to question your chances of finding your soulmate on campus.
“Maybe if I stop looking he’ll find me. That’s what my engaged classmate said anyway.”
11. Suddenly, you find what appears to be the light at the end of the tunnel—a boy in your class who is smart, funny, passionate and insanely attractive.
Jackpot!
12. And then, you find out he has a girlfriend.
Life. Officially. Over.
13. So you give up, accept your womanly independence and decide that you have much better things to be doing than hunting for boys.
You should totally date yourself. You know, at least until you graduate from that barren land.