Get giveaways and the hottest HC content in your inbox!

Sign up for HC Study Break
Get HC in your inbox!

The 10 Guys You’ll Encounter on Tinder

Posted Jul 29 2014 - 2:00pm

Tinder: an online dating roulette of your local singles (who, unfortunately, sometimes turn out to be psychos).

The app is designed to help you find single people you’re attracted to in your area. After setting up your profile page and confirming your sex, which sex you’re interested in, and how close by you’d like your matches to be, the app will show you various profile pages. If you’re interested in a person, you can swipe right or select the heart icon. If you’d rather pass, you can swipe left or select the “X” icon. If someone you’re interested in is also interested in you, a match is made and both parties are notified.

Unlike dating apps like TrintMe, Tinder is more like a box of chocolates; you never quite know what—or who, we should say—you’re going to get.

Lucky for you, Her Campus is here to help you identify 10 guys that you’ll potentially encounter on the app:

1. The Guy Who is in a Relationship

Strange… every one of his pictures seems to feature the same leggy blonde. Must be his sister, right? Don’t get your hopes up, collegiettes. We’re pretty sure most guys don’t put their arm around their sisters like that.

How to identify him:

  • His profile picture features him with his arm wrapped rather cozily around a pretty girl.
  • His four additional images also happen to feature that same girl.
  • His tagline reads: “Involved,” “It’s Complicated,” or “Taken But Feeling Single.”

This is the guy who probably knows he’s hot, but needs the kind of superficial reassurance of his attractiveness that only the cyberworld (and apparently not his girlfriend) can give him. By delving into the Tinder universe totally unbeknownst to his GF, the guy in the relationship can get the kind of thrill that only being made to feel desirable by strangers in your local area can give you—all while being guaranteed steady hook-ups with his ball and chain on the side. The most confusing thing about the Guy Who is in a Relationship: he doesn’t even seem to care if you know about his significant other.

2. The Guy Who Can’t Be Without his Bros

Is he the guy in the red polo shirt? Or the guy next to him in the hockey jersey? How are we supposed to figure out who this guy is if all his photos are with him and his five closest friends?

How to identify him:

  • His profile picture features him plus seven other dudes.
  • His four additional images also happen to feature him… with seven other dudes.
  • His tagline reads: “bros before hoes.”

If you want to be this guy’s lover, you apparently have to get with all his friends, too. The guy who can’t be without his bros is either weirdly close to his wolfpack... or he’s really insecure about his looks. If you encounter the guy who loves the group shot and you can’t seem to figure out who the real Tinder user is, look for the least cute guy in the shot. Chances are, that’s your man—though he’s probably hoping you think he’s his hot swimmer friend who’s standing next to him.

3. The Guy Who’s Probably Younger Than He Claims

He says that he’s about to start his second year of med school—and yet, he looks as though he might have just gotten his braces off.

How to identify him:

  • His profile picture is either a webcam pic (as he doesn’t get out enough to have any normal pics) or an awkwardly stiff, professional photo from his senior portraits.
  • He speaks entirely in abbreviations during your chats, greeting you with “sup” and wanting to know “wut u r up 2.”
  • He sometimes excuses himself from conversations because his mother told him to wash up for dinner.

At some point or another, some collegiette’s curious little brother was bound to make a Tinder account of his own. He may not be pre-pubescent, but we’re sure there are more than a few barely legal bachelors scouting out older ladies on the app. If he knows more about the cheat codes for Tomb Raider than the local bar scene, it may be time to check this guy’s ID. 

4. The Guy Who’s Probably Older Than He Claims

Plenty of guys have discovered their hairlines starting to recede in their early 20s, right? But this guy looks like he’s starting to gray… and are those crow’s-feet we see?

How to identify him:

  • His profile picture is either a webcam pic (since, again, he doesn’t get out enough to have any normal pics) or an awkwardly stiff, cropped photo from his first marriage’s wedding pictures.
  • His tagline quotes a song that was written before you were born.
  • He frequently asks you during your chats if you’re older than 18.  

An endless supply of local, single, college-aged hotties and their pictures? This is the middle-aged creeper’s dream! The Guy Who’s Probably Older Than He Claims isn’t necessarily your father’s age, but that premature balding should make you a little suspicious of his assertion that he’s “fresh out of undergrad.” Swipe this guy left before he tries to arrange a hangout with you and all your young, single friends!

5. The Guy Who’s a Little too Into Himself

A mirror selfie? Pretty cringe-inducing. A shirtless mirror selfie of him curling a barbell with one hand while he takes a pic with the other? Warning: inflated ego alert!

How to identify him:

  • His profile picture features him shirtless, flexing, or shirtless and flexing.
  • His four additional images are all solo shots, and all also feature him flaunting his musculature in some form.  
  • His tagline is simply: “hit me up” or “get at me.”

This is the guy who definitely knows he’s hot and wants you to know it, too. Every swipe right this guy gets makes his pectorals swell with validation. Though he may have six well-defined abdominal muscles, The Guy Who’s a Little too Into Himself more often than not has exactly zero personality. Start a chat with this guy, and you probably won’t be discussing anything more compelling than how much he can lift.

6. The Guy You Already Kind of Know

Oh, look: it’s that guy who lived in the same dorm as you sophomore year; the one you used to wave to sometimes when you passed him in the hall. Except now you guys just kind of make uncomfortable eye contact and look away. Awkward…

How to identify him:

  • You share at least 20 mutual friends on Facebook.
  • Your vague acquaintanceship with him would never be enough to foster a legitimate relationship in real life.
  • You might acknowledge him in person, maybe, if you were at a party or something.

When you encounter The Guy You Already Kind of Know on Tinder, things can get, well, weird. You’ll probably match one another—because it would be weirder if you swiped this guy to the left—and you either won’t acknowledge the match, or he’ll use this connection as an opportunity for some virtual flirtation (that he’d probably never have the nerve to initiate outside the Tinder universe). If you’re into it, go with it—you never know what could happen! If not, you can look forward to even more uncomfortable eye contact when you encounter this guy again (because you definitely will).

7. The Guy Who’s Just Asking to Get Blocked

This guy seems cute enough—until he asks if you have Snapchat. And then he won’t stop messaging you. And now he’s saying things to you that would make a sex columnist blush…

How to identify him:

  • His tagline is: “Is your muffin buttered?”
  • He initiates a conversation with you by complimenting your smile... and then asking if you’re “DTF.”
  • He asks if you would be interested in meeting up… at 3 a.m.

Collegiettes, meet the official Tinder Creeper. Let’s just say The Guy Who’s Just Asking to Get Blocked didn’t create an account in the hope of forging meaningful connections with local singles. The minute this guy starts requesting explicit pics, you’ll know it’s time to bid him adieu—unless, of course, exchanging dirty talk with relative strangers via an online dating forum is your cup of tea.

8. The Guy Who Can’t Take a Hint

He’s nice enough, you guess. And he’s cute… ish. But this guy is just not your type–and no amount of ignoring, avoiding, evading, or rejecting seems to make him understand that.

How to identify him:

  • His tagline reads: “Single…but hopefully not for long ;)”
  • He’ll message you daily, and if you don’t reply, he’ll message you again. And then once more after that to make sure you got his first two messages.
  • Three days after starting to message you, this guy confesses that he thinks you are the girl of his dreams.  

One way or another, The Guy Who Can’t Take a Hint is going to find you, and he’s going to try his darndest to get you. He might have shown some restraint when you first started messaging, but as soon as he began following up your five-minute lapses in conversation with a “?????” you knew it was time to cut the cord. Subtlety is not the approach to take with this guy; make your disinterest known and make it known fast so this guy can start clinging on to another unsuspecting single.  

9. The Guy Who’s Playing Hard to Get

You find him attractive, his swipe right confirms that he finds you attractive, and you have mutual interests in sushi and Dexter. You’re a perfect match! So why hasn’t this guy messaged you yet?

How to identify him:

  • He looks relatively normal.
  • You have a match and a fair amount of shared interests.  
  • It’s been more than a week since your match was made and this guy still hasn’t made a move.

Since it’s impossible that this guy wouldn’t want to get to know you (why wouldn’t he? You’re awesome!), we can think of only two explanations for the guy who’s playing hard to get. One is that this guy would never consider using Tinder as an actual method for procuring dates and simply made his account out of curiosity. The other is that this guy is already spoken for. (Refer to The Guy Who is in a Relationship.) The best advice we can give you is to just try messaging this guy yourself—maybe he’s been wondering why you haven’t messaged him!

10. The Guy Who Seemed Normal… At First

You couldn’t believe your luck when you matched with this guy–and then that he actually messaged you! Your conversation was going really well, too… until he opened up about his toe fetish.

Unfortunately, collegiettes, there’s no way to identify this one. Unlike The Guy Who’s Just Asking to Get Blocked—who will set off your Freak Radar within the first five minutes of chatting—this guy will appear normal, even appealing, for days and perhaps weeks into your messaging. Your budding relationship with The Guy Who Seemed Normal will feel full of promise—until he suddenly pulls a sneak attack and lets his freak flag fly. As soon as he reveals his secret obsession with Cabbage Patch Dolls or describes his fantasy involving you dressed up as a sexy circus clown, run. Run and never look back.

 

Yes, love can be found through online dating sites. But if you choose Tinder, be on the lookout for these 10 guys.

Fill out my online form.
You Might Also Like...