It’s blue and white and takes up way too much of your time. It started out as a way for Harvard College students to keep in touch and is now a place for your grandmother, ex-boyfriend and yes, even your family cat, to connect. It’s Facebook, and with CEO Mark Zuckerberg filing an initial public offering (IPO) at $5 billion, it’s not going away anytime soon. If it’s here to stay, collegiettes, we might as well make the best of it. But how can you use Facebook to help, rather than hurt, your social life? We know how fabulous you are, but it’s time to show the online world, too. Find out if you’re guilty of our Facebook don’ts below, and start being a Facebook ‘do’!
DO be positive.
We all have (at least) one friend on Facebook who we keep around purely for entertainment value. She’s always putting herself in crazy situations and telling the Facebook world about it, and while some of her posts make you roll your eyes, you get a laugh from her daily doses of drama so nothing has pushed you to click “remove friend” yet.
But what about the people on your News Feed who are full of negativity? Every status is depressing and negative, and you have to wonder if they ever smile. Do yourself a favor and edit them from your feed, and while you’re at it, make your Facebook profile a happy place to be. Post pictures that make you laugh and copy and paste quotes that inspire you. On someone’s birthday, send them a message instead of a generic “happy birthday” wall post, or take the time to find a photo, video, or personal anecdote to share with them.
When someone shares a major event in their lives like a new job, rather than adding to the list of comments on their status, head over to their wall (or is it a Timeline now?) and give your congratulations there. It will be more likely to stand out and will mean more than a “like,” although it’s always nice to support someone that way with a simple mouse click.
DON’T post emotional statuses.
We have all seen them — the long, angry statuses that end with “YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE” or the statuses that vaguely hint at personal drama using lots of unnecessary punctuation and Maroon 5 lyrics. When you’re having a rough day, it can be tempting to use Facebook as a sounding board for every thought and feeling, but keep in mind that social networks are not diaries.
“Because it is such a public image, you have to look at yourself as though you’re somebody else and think, ‘if I were somebody else looking at my Facebook wall, what would this say about me.’” Says Kelly Beers, assistant director of the First Year Experience, a program to assist first year students in their transition to college life at the University of Maine. “I think a lot of students use Facebook as an FML moment, and they come across as this whiny negative person, which is not who they are in person.”
Kelsey Mulvey, a sophomore at Boston University, agrees. “It drives me crazy when people share all of their personal issues on Facebook,” she says. “I’m all for a vent now and then, but not online!”
Next time you are feeling low, don’t resort to Facebook. You don’t know how a status about something as simple as a less-than-stellar test grade could be misconstrued as something much worse. We’re not suggesting you immediately delete a friend who has been posting whiny statuses and a few too many Adele videos lately, but try to keep your relationship issues to girls’ night, not the World Wide Web.
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DO friend family.
Whether you agree with this or not, refusing to accept friend requests from family members is downright awkward. If you’re concerned that they will see things you don’t want them to or learn things about you you’d rather they not know, you probably don’t need to share them on Facebook. But if you feel compelled to post something you don’t want your cousin to see, you can always refine your privacy settings to exclude family members from seeing certain albums, posts or personal information on your page.
To access your privacy settings, go to the account menu at the top right of your Facebook page. From there you can scroll down to select privacy settings and control who can see what. For more information on how to do this, head over to the Facebook help center.
DON’T post pictures or information you wouldn’t want your grandmother to see.
By now, this should go without saying. But just in case you need a reminder, collegiettes — don’t post pictures or information you wouldn’t be comfortable passing around at your next family reunion. You don’t know for sure that someone won’t pull a compromising photo of you from last weekend’s frat party and send it to someone else, or misunderstand a well-meaning or funny post. When in doubt, before posting, think about your boss and your grandmother. If they were both over your shoulder, would you be comfortable with them seeing this?
Rebecca Buddingh, a senior at the University of Southern California, recommends setting the highest privacy levels possible and always being careful of what you post. “I know this doesn’t stop people from seeing everything, but it’s often the best method to make sure your information doesn’t fall into the wrong hands,” she says.
DO choose your friends wisely.
You’re not one to play favorites, but there’s no reason to be friends with everyone who sends you a request.
Beers advises college students on a daily basis and had some wise words for narrowing down your Facebook friend circle. “If you’re not going to talk to someone or care about what they put on Facebook, why be friends with them?” Beers says. “You wouldn’t put some random person’s number in your phone.”
Facebook offers you a great opportunity to stay in touch with people no matter where you are, but don’t abuse it by accepting someone’s request simply because you would feel bad ignoring or declining it. Just as you choose who to surround yourself with in real-life interactions, you can choose who you associate with online.
DON’T delete old friends.
Sure, you might not have talked to Susie High School since, well, high school. But that doesn’t mean she deserves to be deleted from your friends list. You never know when you may want to contact her some day to catch up, or how that connection might serve as an opportunity in the future. That said, if a Facebook friend is constantly bogging down your news feed with drama, it may be time for some friend editing. Remember that removing someone from your news feed is an option if you want to save awkwardness and hurt feelings.
DO use it to spread the word.
Are you volunteering at an upcoming blood drive on campus? Have you landed the lead in your school’s production of Hairspray? Let your Facebook friends know! One of the great things about Facebook is how easy it is to spread the word quickly about upcoming events and share information on things like event times, ticket prices and other details that people might want to know. Use Facebook as the massive social platform it is by creating event pages and hitting “share.” It’s that easy! One simple way to do this is by changing your profile picture to a flier or logo of the event.
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DON’T share too much.
Let’s be honest — no matter how delicious your lunch was or how painful that fall in your slippery driveway was, not everyone needs to see ten pictures of your homemade lasagna or bloody knee. Facebook is perfect for sharing events in your life, but be aware of how much you put out there. Think about the posts you enjoy seeing from your friends and the ones you don’t, and post accordingly.
Stephanie Littlehale, a senior at the University of Maine, has been disturbed more than once when a Facebook friend shared more than she needed to see.
“One of my Facebook friends posted a wound that needed 47 stitches.” Stephanie says. “A cut is one thing, a gash is another.”
Sharing every detail of your life, including the less fortunate events, can make you look like you’re hunting for attention. If you tripped in the hallway, would you really send a mass text to everyone in your contacts to let them know? Remember that Facebook reaches a wide audience of not only the people on your friends list, but anyone they want to show, too.
DO stay connected.
With a few scrolls and clicks, you can start a conversation with that friend you met while studying abroad but haven’t talked to since you both crossed the U.S. border. So what are you waiting for? Rather than creeping around her page and clicking through photos to see what she’s been up to since you made it back across the pond, send her a message or write on her wall. Remind her of that weekend you spent CouchSurfing and let her know you’re thinking of her.
Not only can Facebook be used to reach out to old friends, it can be used to show other people what you’re working on and how you’re reaching your goals. Kristin Pye, a sophomore at McGill University, recommends using it professionally as well as socially.
“Like the film suggests, Facebook is, at the heart of it, a social network. I always ensure to present myself in a career-oriented way, not only in the editing of timeline content remaining mindful of little things like posting all of the articles I write,” she says.
DON’T constantly update your relationship status.
We know you’re excited about the new man in your life, but if you just got out a relationship a few weeks ago and suffered the uncomfortable “what happened?” and “I’m sorry” comments under the broken heart icon, you might want to wait a while before changing your status from “single.”
Facebook is a fun way to show your friends and family that you’re dating someone, and of course gives them all a chance to relentlessly stalk your significant other’s page. But on the other hand, repeatedly updating your relationship status and switching it to “it’s complicated” every time you and your beau have an argument is dramatic and unnecessary. Just as you wouldn’t tell the world if you and your boyfriend decided to take a break or that things aren’t peachy in your love life right now, resist the urge to make every relationship twist and turn Facebook official.
There you have it, collegiettes. We hope you “liked” our suggestions. Do you have any ideas of how to use Facebook better? Let us know below!