Home (Bitter) Sweet Home: How To Deal With Returning Home For the Summer

As finals wind down, most of us are packing up our rooms and getting ready to hit the open road back home. It’s a bittersweet feeling leaving the freedoms of school to return to the rules of our parents’ house. It’s a little difficult understanding the term “curfew” when you’ve spent the last nine months stumbling home as the sun comes up. The idea of chores seems obsolete when your room at school looks like a tornado hit it. Readjusting to life in your childhood home can be less than fantastic, whether you’re home for the summer after freshman year, or as a post-grad beginning the job search.

But if you focus on the positives, and try not to step on any toes along the way, these tips and tricks will make the transition as smooth as possible. If you’re the type of person that doesn’t bode well with change, you’re going to have to be a bit flexible in this whole moving home situation. It’s not easy listening to your parents after living a year without their rules, but it is important. Getting off on the wrong foot could literally ruin your entire summer. If you follow these simple rules you should get along just fine.

1. Remember what you’ve been missing

Keeping in mind all the things that you love about home will make the move back effortless (well, almost). There are not many things in life that are much better than a family dinner and a home-cooked meal. For many of us, college food is sub-par at best, and one can only eat so many bowls of cereal when the pickings are slim. And how nice it feels to take a shower without flip-flops! Being able to get ready in your own room and spend as long as you want lounging in your towel is a lot more relaxing than fighting off four other females for a chance at the shower. And I’m sure your bed at home feels a whole lot better than that “extra long” twin you’ve been sleeping on all year. Don’t take these little things for granted because before you know it you’ll be back at school and missing them again!

2. Be Respectful

By this I mean, remember that you are not at school and that your actions are affecting a lot more than just yourself now. Coming home at 4 am and heating up the leftovers from dinner is fine, as long as you’re quiet and avoid waking the entire house up.

One helpful tip is to make a personal key for your house, if you don’t already have one. Throw your key in your purse before going out and you won’t having to worry about calling your parents in the wee hours of the morning to let you in the front door.

3. Blend In

Don’t do anything in the beginning of the summer that is going to put you on your parents’ radar. I find that with my siblings, as long as I blend in and do my best to not cause a scene, my parents are less overbearing. If you don’t give your parents a reason to worry, they’ll be more lenient. Julia, a sophomore at the University of Illinois, recalls one experience that landed her on her parents’ bad side at the beginning of last summer. “It was my second night home from school, it also happened to be my friend Connor’s annual Mexican themed birthday party. Too much tequila and not enough water forced me to stay in bed until 3 pm the next day. Unfortunately, I had agreed to go to church with my family and then out to breakfast. I missed out on the entire morning and, needless to say, I wasn’t allowed back out for awhile.” Keep in mind that your parents are watching your every move as soon as you get back. It can’t hurt to be on your best behavior for a couple days as you settle in.

4. Help Out

Don’t underestimate the power of the plate. Putting your plate away after a meal is so easy. It’s a simple act we often forget to do, especially once we get back home, but it’s not only a sign of respect it shows your parents that you’re not expecting them to wait on you, and that you’re mature. If you do little things around the house, like unpacking your clothes early, or keeping your room mildly clean, your parents are less likely to treat you like a child. Remember, if you act like you need their help, they’re going to come at you full throttle. Instead of getting annoyed at your parents for asking you to help out, just do it and move on….you get more bees with honey.

5. Don’t Forget To Call

It’s easy to forget to report back to your parents because you’ve been on your own for so long, but they take responsibility for you when you’re back at home. If you’re going to spend the night out don’t forget to let them know. Margaret, a mother of four, like most mothers is constantly worrying. “I can’t go to sleep unless I know where all my kids are.” she admits. “Even a text is fine. I just want to know that everybody is safe.” Having a worried parent calling and looking for you all night is stressful for both parties. Just remember to update them every once in awhile and it should be smooth sailing from there.

6. Curfew?

If your parents try to reinstate your old curfew, chances are you haven’t been on your best behavior. Stating a curfew is a means of control, and if your parents are dating back to the high school years it’s most likely because they feel like you need rules to follow. If you are being responsible, checking in and acting mature, you should not have to worry about the old 1 am curfew coming back to haunt you.

7. Get a Job

Laying out in the sun and bumming around the house all day sounds like an ideal summer to most of us, but the reality is that we are in college and should be taking on the responsibilities of a job and making money. If you’re working hard your parents will take notice and not come down on you for petty things. It will be easier to ask for that extra cash for the concert at the end of the month if your parents know you’re doing your part, as well.

8. Summer Flings

We can all agree it’s a lot harder in the guy department while living under your parents’ roof. At school, it’s easy to hang out at your dorm or apartment with your guy. You never have to worry about introducing him to the fam. However, being at home gives you more of an opportunity to venture out and try new things (let’s be honest, how much fun is watching TV together, anyway?).Walk to your nearest ice cream shop on a nice summer night or get dinner and have a picnic in the park. Spending time with your guy in new ways is not only better for your relationship but it’s more fun!

Most importantly, make the most of your summer at home. Spend time with your family and friends, make time for yourself, and enjoy all the little things that make home so special.